


The Red Button

by Ketz



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcoholic Magnus, Angst and Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Decisions, Brace yourselves, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Immortal's friendship, M/M, Malec is pure and loving, Multi, Psychiatrist Alec, References to Depression, Someone hug Magnus, The chapters are getting bigger, Unreliable Narrator, for the ending, have some ethical standards people, on the bright side, that's what I get for adding Camille to the mix, though he's not Magnus' psychiatrist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-09 05:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8877523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ketz/pseuds/Ketz
Summary: After one black out too many, Ragnor and Catarina had enough of Magnus trying to drink himself to an early grave. It was time for an intervention and they had the perfect place in mind: The Institute, the best rehabilitation installation in the New York state.Only Magnus wasn't exactly asked for his opinion on the matter. And if there is something Magnus doesn't like, is to be forced into something.Maybe the Head of the Institute, Alec Lightwood, is enough of an argument to change his mind?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [The Red Button](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613958) by [j_blueberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_blueberry/pseuds/j_blueberry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :D
> 
> Are you ready for some Magnus-centric fic? I am.
> 
> But first, let's pay attention to the warnings:  
> Alcohol abuse/Alcoholism  
> Minor Depression
> 
> Enjoy :D

Loud music boomed in Magnus’ ears, but he could barely hear it as he stumbled through a wall of sweaty bodies surrounding him. The floor was made of clouds and his permanent smile tasted like the bottle of whiskey in his hand. Magnus loved that overwhelming feeling of liberation even though he wasn’t able to see quite as clearly with the blurry lights of the club flashing in a thousand colors. A sea of unrecognizable beautiful faces smiled back at him and Magnus called for anyone. They were all his friends. They understood him.

Particularly that foxy little thing smirking his way.

Magnus tried making his way to her direction in unbalanced steps, but he tripped over his feet and would have fallen on his face if a handsome angel had not caught him by his shoulders. He meant to thank his savior gracefully, but the sudden movement made his stomach twirl and he felt like he was going to be sick.

This was no fun.

The man laughed. Apparently he had said it out loud. Magnus smiled and took a deep sip from his bottle. He had to take a double check to be sure his whiskey hadn’t been tempered with, because it felt like water in his throat. The gold liquor was still there, so Magnus took another gulp just to be sure.

The handsome stranger was whispering a dirty invitation in his ear and Magnus giggled, trying to disentangle himself from the man’s firm grip. It was harder than he anticipated, the man was very adamant in helping him stand up. Such a nice, attentive person.

Magnus tried thanking him, so the man would know he was alright, but when he looked up, the world spun around him and everything went black.

\---

Magnus woke up inside of a white bubble. At least, that was what it felt like, until the light was much too bright for him to keep his eyes open. There was an insisting beep on his right side that did nothing to sooth his throbbing head and he could feel a sting on the inner side of his elbows that was attached to something else.

“Oh, Magnus,” a familiar female voice sounded on left, “you’re going to be ok. Rest now.”

And rest he did, comforted by that kind voice. 

\---

“-… He agreed to it, finally,” a funny male voice was saying when Magnus tried opening his eyes again, “but he won’t do more than take care of the bills.”

Magnus shivered, feeling colder than ice. Something had died inside of his mouth, but it was no worse than the terribly nauseating taste of bile.

“I’ll see to it, then,” the female voice sounded again, its gentle tone carried with concern underneath the iron resolve.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen his face so pale.” This time, the male voice so thin, Magnus barely heard it. “He was shaking so hard when I…-“

“Ragnor, he’s safe now. More importantly, he’s going to get better. The Institute is his best shot right now.” 

If Magnus could talk, he’d say anywhere called the Institute sounded like somewhere he wanted to stay as far away as physically possible from.

\---

Magnus woke up again when he felt his body being propelled into the sky. Which was fairly ridiculous, considering that he safely seating inside of car, with Ragnor’s hand firmly gripping him by the shoulder.

His eyes took a while to focused, but when they did, Magnus smiled at his oldest friend. “Road trip?”

Ragnor stared at him, half annoyed and half relieved, and his grip grew tighter. “In a fashion. How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a herd of elephants.” Magnus cracked his neck. “And I would know, considering our lovely safari trip last Summer.”

“He’s talking, so he’s fine,” Catarina said from the driver’s seat. 

Magnus hadn’t seen her there, but then again, he wasn’t expecting to be in the back seat with Ragnor while she drove. This day was just weird. “Of course I am. Will any of you tell me where are we going?”

Ragnor swallowed hard, as if he was debating internally how best phrase it, but Catarina had no such trouble. “We’re taking you to rehab. Yesterday was the last straw.”

At that Magnus had the only reaction acceptable; he laughed. It certainly wasn’t the first time his friends had talked about rehab, but it had never been more than a good spirited joke. It was almost always involved a bottle of good wine. “I must congratulate you two. This is the most elaborated intervention I’ve ever seen.” Magnus reached out to grabbed a fat file with his name on, frowning just slightly at the bite of pain on the inner side of his elbow. There was a circular Band-Aid there that he had no recollection of putting on. Bizarre. 

He flipped through the file, ignoring the pile of exams results he didn’t quite understand, but still looked bad. Kidney failure sounded bad. “Now, this is a masterpiece. I’m officially scared off. Pinky promise not to drink on tonight’s party.”

“No, Magnus.” Ragnor shook his head and there was no trace of his usual impatience. He only looked tired. “The intervention was last night, when I had to punch a guy so he wouldn’t take your unconscious body lord knows where. And when you were convulsing violently, covered in your own vomit. And when you wouldn’t respond, even after Cat had given you enough adrenaline you could just up and run a marathon while still unconscious. Bloody Hell, the intervention was last week, when we found you passed out on the Brooklyn bridge. Or six-months ago, when you called Cat forty-six times just to giggle and hang up. This is real. Your father agreed to it.”

Magnus’ dismissal died in his lips. “My… He doesn’t get to choose this for me. I’m thirty-four. I’m not a reckless teenager.”

“Maybe, but he’s paying for it,” Catarina looked over her shoulder to throw him a troubled look. “Ragnor and I talked and we found a place we think you’ll like. You don’t have to stay there if you don’t like it but, please, Magnus, give it a try. We can’t lose you and, last night, we almost did.”

Ragnor nodded and his bright green eyes were so sad, Magnus had a hard time keeping the bitter tears Catarina’s words brought to his eyes hidden. “Don’t make us go through that again, my friend,” Ragnor asked weakly.

Magnus just swallowed hard and crossed his arms against his chest, looking out of the window. He wanted to scream at them, to let all of the anger out. He didn’t need rehab. He was perfectly fine just the way he was. Last night had been a fluke, nothing to worry about. Ragnor and Catarina were just overreacting, like they always did. He was fine.

But he didn’t say anything and followed them when Catarina parked in front of a huge white building that read _The Institute_ in golden letters.

\---

The admission process was a pain, but Magnus was nothing if not optimistic so he focused on the small things. Maybe he was stripped and pierced more times than he enjoyed, but Doctor Isabelle, - no, Doctor Izzy, as she asked him to call her - was surprisingly gentle in a relentless way. She was the very first doctor who didn’t tell Magnus he had to quit drinking or it would kill his liver from within. Instead, she showed him what his liver was looking like at the moment and commented that she preferred pitch black on her dress, not her organs.

Magnus saw her point.

Doctor Izzy didn’t try to scare him with the terrible side effects of alcohol consumption either. After Magnus announced that he wasn’t interested in hearing them, she just asked if he was aware they existed. She knew Catarina was the Head of the Medical Team of the famous Brooklyn Hospital, so she didn’t dispute him when he told her he had memorized all the symptoms of alcohol poisoning after years of being scolded by his best friend. The good doctor just showed him the results of the exams that were taken in the hospital and helped him figured out what all of those numbers and words meant.

It was boring and a little depressing, since most of the numbers were painted in an alarming red, but Magnus was determined not to let his increasing bad mood ruin what otherwise was being his best medical experience as of yet, Catarina’s attempts to examine him aside. He had no intention to stay in the Institute anyway, but he could use some check-ups, since he didn’t quite remember the last time he went to the doctor.

Besides, Doctor Izzy wore the most perfect combination of lipstick and high heels Magnus had seen in months, so he had warmed up to her from the get go. It also helped that she had promised unlimited access to makeup when Magnus asked for it.

The tour around the facility was guided by a short read-haired girl that presented herself as Clary. She wasn’t nearly as fabulous as Doc Izzy, but she was every bit as fierce and even Ragnor seemed to like her, which was a miracle in itself. Clary showed them the main building and the restaurant, crossing the swimming pools and the five-floored gym and finally arriving in the dormitories, when the sun was already setting. Magnus wasn’t so petty as to deny the place’s beauty, but he had been appalled by its residents. 

Everywhere he looked, he saw sad people inflicted with diseases of the mind. One didn’t go to as many parties as Magnus did without a few guys struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction, so he knew he shouldn’t judge those poor people. It was good that there was somewhere like the Institute for them to go, since they were dealing with a real problem.

Unlike him, no matter what Ragnor and Catarina thought.

However, if they were worried to the point of dragging him to a rehab center, then Magnus could at least humor them. In a matter of days, it would become obvious he wasn’t the Institute’s targeted public and things would go back to normal. Until then, he was more than happy to waste his father’s undeserving money on complete nonsense.

“And here is where you’ll be staying,” Clary said cheerfully, as she used an electronic key to open room number 16. “All or your stuff has been carried in, and I do mean all of it. It was an impressive amount.”

Magnus chuckled lightly, despite his growing headache. In the very least, he could count on his friends to properly pack for him. “One must always be prepared, biscuit,” he said with a flourish and entered to explore the room. It was plain, but beautiful in its simplicity. A huge bed, a not big enough closet, and a private bathroom. “Is that a balcony?” Magnus smiled brightly and opened the glass doors, stepping onto to it and closing his eyes to smell the breeze. Finally, some good news.

“Yes,” Clary said with a nod and stepped aside for Ragnor and Catarina to enter as well. They had stayed behind, watching Magnus as guard dogs throughout the entire process. He had preferred to think of it as them being attentive, and not distrustful like the nagging voice from the back of his mind insisted. “You’re in our top accommodations, so I hope you like them. There’s a nurse twenty-four-seven in the corridor, so if you need anything, just press these red buttons.” She pointed at said button to illustrate. “There’s one over the bed and two more inside the bathroom. Don’t hesitate to call for help, even if you think it might be nothing.”

Magnus shrugged. “What if I need someone to do my nails for me? Is that red-button worthy?”

Clary shook her head and she looked serious. “In that case, you call for me. There is a reason I’m the resident artist.”

That was supposed to be a joke, a bad one at it, but the fact that Clary had played along felt like the light at the end of the tunnel; Magnus was now a hundred percent sure he could trust his friends with his life. They had found him a place where manicure was taken seriously, as it was supposed to be. It had fashion expert doctors who did not berate him for drinking and treated him like the adult that he was and cute, sassy assistants who cared for his little quirks. If he was going to be left behind and forgotten, at least he could keep his style while at it.

“I guess I could spend a few days in this resort,” Magnus decided out loud. “Now, my head is throbbing, and it’s not the head I prefer to throb. I’m thinking a nice and long shower, comfy PJs and a good night of sleep are in order.”

Clary nodded. “The nurse will come with your night meds and to check on you later. Welcome to the Institute, Mister Bane.”

“Biscuit.” Magnus smiled his sweetest smile, or as close as his head allowed him to. “We’re all friends here. Call me Magnus.”

“I’ll do,” Clary said with a wink. “Don’t forget, if you feel anything, press the red button.” And with that, she turned on her heels and left, her fiery hair bouncing as she went.

When Magnus turned to his friends, he immediately regretted his kind thoughts. Both Ragnor and Catarina were looking at him as if he was a whimpering lost puppy. As if. “Unless I’m wearing crocs, those faces are quite uncalled for.”

Ragnor, always the fancy one, snorted. “Alright, my friend. You take care.”

“Yes,” Catarina agreed, though her delicate face was twisted in a serious scowl. “These first couple of days will be tough, but you’ll make it. You won’t have access to your phone while you’re in here, but ask for a call if you need anything. Anything. We’ll come right up.”

Magnus didn’t know how, but he managed to smile. He loved his friends more than life itself, but he couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal creeping on his heart. It was true; they were going to leave him here, to be forgotten with a bunch of losers who couldn’t get a hold of their lives. Screw politeness and the political correctness, they were actually going away. They were giving up on him.

And all because of one little incident.

The worse part wasn’t even that they had Asmodeus’ blessing for doing that. Magnus’ father never cared for him, not when he was a little boy who lost his mother to depression. Not when he was a rebellious teenager, getting himself in all kinds of trouble. Not even when he had graduated as top of his class from Harvard Law School, a course Magnus only chose to make him proud. It didn’t matter what Magnus did, his father simply didn’t care.

The worse part was that he had always thought his friends did care. But they clearly didn’t, not when they could look at him and not see how scared he was. He didn’t want to be left alone, not in this weird perfect place, with these beautiful staff who looked at him sympathetically, like he was sick or something. Like he was dying and couldn’t even realize it.

They were leaving him to rot and no one even bothered to ask if he was okay with it.

But they loved him. They always said they loved him. _We’ll come right up_ , Catarina had promised. Don’t make us go through that again, Ragnor had asked. They were doing this out of love. Some misguided, overprotective kind of love. They were wrong, though. Magnus didn’t want to be left alone. They didn’t know what they were doing.

They have no idea how much it hurt. 

Magnus smiled and waved away his friends’ worried expressions with a flourish of his hand, ignoring how silent he had gone. They loved him, so he had to put on a brave face for them. Anything for them. “I don’t do good-byes, my darlings. Besides, Biscuit was crystal clear. If I need anything, I just have to press the red button. Off you go.”

\---

Magnus was not going to press that fucking red button. Not even if his life depended on it, and there were a few times during that first night that Magnus was sure it did. If he slept at all, his sleep was constantly interrupted by violent tremors or the occasional urge to be sick. 

Both of those he could handle, but when Magnus woke up to his abdomen hurling in pain, all he wanted was to scream. His eyes were stinging with bitter tears and all Magnus could focus on was regret.

Eventually, though, he got through the night. The sunshine murdered Magnus’ last hopes of sleeping, so he decided to get up and wash his face. It had been more than a decade since he last spent a day without makeup, but Catarina had cleaned his face in the hospital and now Magnus felt like he was twelve years old again, finding out his mother’s old makeup and playing with it for the very first time. 

Then, he did it out of fear of forgetting his mother, as a way to solidify his most treasured memories of her. Now, he did it to reclaim himself in the face of losing who he was.

With the finishing touch to his eyeliner, Magnus felt better than he did for weeks. He could still taste bitter bile rising in his throat if he moved too fast and his head seeming permanently attached to a painful buzzing, but his image was on point.

After finding an outfit to match his art, he dragged himself to the balcony. A little fresh air would do him good. Besides, Magnus had always loved the morning’s colors and how delicate they looked. That was what he needed, some delicacy to balance out the roughness of the last couple of days. 

The Institute was a beautiful place, if nothing else. There was green everywhere, from the grass fields to the different kinds of trees. Each building complemented the other in white with strokes of gold. The swimming pools reflected the sky in bright blue and the sun was getting hotter by the minute.

And there, in that paradisiac scenery, Magnus saw him.

At first, he was certain the man was a hallucination. Doctor Izzy said he could experience a few as a result of the alcohol leaving his system, so Magnus was expecting voices and the occasional demon in the shower, but never a fucking angel. He had been waiting for an angel his entire life, to take him away to a better place, but none ever came. A proper angel wouldn’t want anything to do with someone like him. Especially a sweaty, red-cheeked angel running in that sinful tight shirt that hugged his chest in all the right places. Not to mention those legs, that seemed to go on for miles as he jogged.

Well, if he was a mirage, then Magnus wanted to personally high-five his brain for coming up with such gorgeousness. The man was tall, probably a head taller than him, with dark messy hair and creamy skin. His face was all angles and his eyes burned with determination without losing a trace of warmth. He licked his lips as he ran, focused on whatever song played in his earplugs, and Magnus felt his headache backing down as he watched. There was only one thing left to know.

The man passed in front of his balcony, oblivious of the attention he was receiving, and gave Magnus the privileged view of his amazing ass. That was it. Magnus was in love.

“Alec Lightwood,” a voice on his left said, thick with accent. When Magnus turned to its source, he found a young Latino man with the most outstanding bored expression he’d ever seen. He had also perfected the monotone, as he continued when he saw Magnus’ puzzled look, “that guy’s name. He’s the Head of the Institute.”

Magnus sighed; that could complicate things. To the other guy, though, he smiled. “This place keeps on growing on me. I’m Magnus Bane.” He stretched his arm over the gap between their balconies and watched as the other hesitantly took his hand with a suspicious glare.

“Raphael Santiago.”

“Delighted to make your acquaintance.” Magnus smiled brightly and he was about to ask whether Raphael knew where to find something to eat when a third guy appeared behind his new friend. He looked even younger and definitely confused as he positioned his glasses to take a double look on Magnus.

“Oh,” he said eloquently. “Good morning.”

“Morning, sunshine,” Magnus greeted with a smirk. Judging by his messy clothes and pillow hair, it had been the night that was good. “And who are you?”

“He’s gone,” Raphael said, throwing the guy a warning glare. The poor fellow winced and nodded, sheepishly waving at Magnus before taking an exit.

Magnus cocked his head to the side. “No rommies allowed?”

Raphael had come back to his permanent state of boredom and shrugged. “He’s not in rehab. He’s the IT guy.”

Now, isn’t that interesting? 

“Raphael, my dear, in the light of recent events, I have to ask.” Magnus leaned forward. “What do I have to do to get a member of the staff in my bed? More specifically a tall, sweaty and gorgeous one?”

For just a second, Magnus was sure he was going to roll his eyes and walk away. But then Raphael saw the IT guy sneaking out of the building and the smallest hint of a smiled showed in his lips. “You tell him you will murder him just enough times and wait until he comes to prove you wrong.”

Magnus smiled, leaned his chin on his hand. “Romantic.” 

\---

Meeting Raphael was the best thing that happened to Magnus. It took three more days for his organism to get rid of the alcohol and every passing hour seemed worse than the last one. The hallucinations finally came and, with them, the confusion. His body hurt everywhere and he threw up anything he ate. His nights were a constant fighting against fevers as he shook uncontrollably and his body didn’t offer much relief as his heart would not calm down, rendering him unable to stay still for too long.

If Raphael wasn’t there to ignore his stubbornness and press the red button every time, Magnus wasn’t sure he would have made it. The gap between their balconies was narrow enough to be crossed in a jump and Raphael didn’t hesitated when he couldn’t hear anything from Magnus’ room as he was reading outside, just a couple of hours after their first meeting. 

After finding Magnus shivering on the floor, Raphael became a constant companion. The poor nurse tried to tell him he wasn’t allowed to stay the night, and Magnus may had been in a disoriented state, but he clearly remembered the woman shrieking with fear when Raphael glared at her and asked who was going to drag him away.

When Magnus was finally feeling stable enough to have dinner outside the confinement of his room, Raphael was already waiting him at the door. He was quiet and short-tempered, quick to groan and berate Magnus for everything he did or said, but he was there. If he didn’t know Ragnor and Catarina, Magnus would think these sort of people only existed in movies.

You know, friends.

The walk to the main building was short, during which Magnus blabbed about the most trivial things he could think of. It was a game he liked to play, to see for how long Raphael could take his rambling until he told him to shut up.

That night, however, Raphael didn’t have to bother. The instant that Magnus stepped into the common room where the meals where served, his mouth gaped open in silence. Because there he was, the Angel.

He was sitting with five other beautiful people, Doctor Izzy and Biscuit included, as well as Raphael’s little boy toy. There were two other blondes, a guy and a girl, and both of them looked sharp and deadly, in an attractive sort of way. None of them paid them any mind and Raphael just dragged Magnus to an empty table, calling for the nearest waiter to bring them whatever there was for dinner.

When Magnus was finally over his shock, he gaped at Raphael in search of an explanation. Raphael seemed used to that kind of reaction, since he just shrugged. “You know Alec. There’s also Doctor Isabelle, Head of the Medical Department. The blonde guy is Jace, he’s the Head of Activities. Gym, swimming pools, he’s in charge of it all. They are the Lightwood siblings and they own this place, literally. The others are their respective spouses; Simon and Clary, and Doctor Lydia, Head of the Psychiatry Team.”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Magnus said, hoping he had misheard. “Spouses?”

Raphael looked like he was talking to some particularly annoying five-year-old. “Yes. Jace and Clary married two years ago. Isabelle and Simon married last semest-…”

Magnus raised a hand, interrupting his friend’s explanation. Mostly he did not want to hear about the doubtless happy marriage of his Angel to the stunning Doctor Lydia, thank you very much, but also he was appalled. Raphael looked like a good Christian. “You’re hooking up with a married man,” he accused, sounding exactly like a five-year-old.

Unsurprisingly, Raphael glared at him without a trace of patience. “It’s an open marriage. Isabelle is very aware of her husband’s nocturnal activities with me. She comes along sometimes.”

If he could, Magnus would buy Doctor Izzy a shot. He’d buy two more for himself, but one of them would be in her honor. To his sorrow, though, he had to contempt himself with water. “Not that I don’t appreciate the show, I like to eat watching beautiful people, mind you, but do they always eat with the inmates?”

“This is not a prison,” Raphael said. “And no, only during dinner. It’s all a part of the program, like calling everyone by their first names. Something about breaking the barriers between patients and caretakers.”

“Thoughtful,” Magnus conceded. The food arrived shortly and the smell was enough to swipe his worries away. Now that his stomach had settled Magnus realized he was starving and the fish in front of him smelled delicious.

Two plates and a delicious dessert later, Magnus was feeling alive. He still missed a shot of liquor to finish the meal, so he would have to do with something else to close off the night. On their way out, Magnus stopped behind Alec Angel Lightwood’s chair, leaning just enough to the man’s side as he smiled. “Doctor Izzy, looking stunning tonight.”

Isabelle smirked right away. “Magnus! It’s great to see you. How are you feeling?”

“Quite good, thank you.” He turned to Clary, who was smiling brightly at him. “Biscuit.”

Jace looked between his wife and Magnus, frowning slightly. He passed a hand over her chair, possessively, and Magnus was sure they were going to get along splendidly. “New guy?” He asked, and his voice was full of overbearing confidence. Oh, yes. Just Magnus’ favorite kind of person; arrogant assholes. 

Thankfully, the Angel decided to intervene. “He’s been admitted a couple of days ago.” 

Now, Jace spoke like someone who loved to hear the sound of his own voice. Alec, however, spoke with the soft but sure tone of a leader, both reassuring and certain. And Magnus wanted to hear more.

He turned to him and offered his hand. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Magnus Bane.”

Alec looked up from his seat, big hazel eyes watching him in surprise and, dare he say it, awe. “A-Alec… My name is Alec. Alec Lightwood.”

For all that his voice shook and stuttered, Alec’s handshake was firm. Magnus wanted nothing more than to stroke that pale hand with his fingers. “Short for Alexander, I assume.”

Alec blinked, clearly surprise. “Y-Yes… I, hm… Welcome.”

“Yes,” Doctor Lydia agreed immediately, shooting her husband an intriguing look. Just the sound of her voice seemed enough to ground him back to the easy smile he was sprouting earlier. Magnus couldn’t help but feel jealous, especially as he noticed the twin pair of golden chains hanging around their necks, hiding down their clothing. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mister Bane. I believe we will start our sessions in the afternoon.”

Magnus frowned, not quite understanding. “Our sessions?”

Doctor Lydia nodded. “Therapy sessions. We start tomorrow.”

Oh shit. Magnus could not believe his luck. Of course his therapist would be Mrs. Angel, that was just his life. “Looking forward to it, Doc,” he managed to say, flashing his sweetest smile at her, “good night, everyone.” He cast a last look at Alec, who frowned slightly, adorably flustered.

Despite of Raphael’s ever present scowl, Magnus went to bed with a smile on his lips.

\---

The next day started out well enough. Magnus slept through the whole night, which was a first, and joined Raphael for a delicious breakfast. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to put up some weight. 

Not that it would necessarily be a bad thing. According to Doctor Izzy, he was considerably underweight and that contributed to him feeling malnourished all the time. His carefully cultivated muscles had been deteriorated by his drinking habits and Magnus had given up exercising after he lost his usual interest to take care of his body. 

If he was stuck in that hellhole for an entire month, Magnus decided to make the most of it. Judging it was time to hit the gym, he dragged Raphael to come with him. Apparently, the building wasn’t his friend’s favorite part of the facility, but Magnus made puppy eyes and poked him repeatedly for long enough to convince him. 

He had an increasing suspicion Raphael didn’t have many friends, since he would groan and complain, but always accompanied him wherever he went. That was the sign of a lonely person in desperate need for some human contact. Magnus knew because he was one too.

Physical evaluation with Jace was annoying, to say the least. Magnus had to admit though that the guy was very professional about it. He cleared Magnus to do whatever he wanted as long as he requested for instructions beforehand, and answered the questions with short but clear explanations. He also didn’t laugh at any of Magnus comments and kept his arrogant façade the entire time.

But it was all good, because as soon as Magnus was out of the evaluation room, he had a vision. Alec was there, looking as astonishing as always. Turns out he looked as great in casual clothes as he did in workout shorts, even if they are unfortunately a size too big. 

“Alexander,” Magnus greeted with a half-smile.

“Magnus, hm, hi.” Alec blinked in surprise, but then he smiled too and fidgeted with the golden thin chain that hanged discretely underneath his clothes. It was the most adorable thing. “Training?”

“Yes. Time to shake these old bones.” Magnus signed at himself with a flourish. “Will you join me? I’d love to get breathless and sweaty with you.”

Poor Alec seemed so confused he actually spent the better half of minute gaping with his mouth opened, eyes going all over the place as he tried to process what was happening. It was endearing that a fully grown man that stood almost a head above Magnus could look so huggable. “I-I wish I… It’s just… I have… Have to…-”

Taking pity on him, Magnus shut him up by putting a single finger over his mouth, not touching but close enough to feel its warmth. “I understand. Important Head of the Institute work to take care of, no doubt. Maybe next time? I’m here all month.” 

Alec frowned, still looking unsure. “Yeah, sure. Some… Some other time.” 

Before Magnus could answer that, Jace stuck his stupid head out of his room and called for his brother to come in. Alec excused himself with a mumble of words and disappeared inside the office. When Magnus turned to Raphael, who had been sitting in the corridor waiting for him, he chuckled at his friend’s reproaching expression. “What? I know I can’t touch, but nobody said I can’t look.”

Raphael blinked, unimpressed. “That was not looking.”

“Did I say look?” Magnus shrugged innocently. “I meant flirt. Now come on, let’s get ripped.”

Groaning, Raphael rolled his eyes but obliged. As it turned out, he was actually more familiar with most gym exercises than Magnus, who preferred to work out outside, preferably in a park. He didn’t have that luxury now, so the gym would have to do.

When they headed to have lunch, a couple of hours later, Magnus was feeling much better with himself. The permanent headache that plagued him throughout his first days at the Institute was thankfully gone and he was feeling physically tired, instead of mentally exhausted as per usual.

Magnus hoped the feeling would continue after his first therapy session with Doctor Lydia. Sitting in the waiting room, he could feel the weight of the nurses’ eyes on him. He had opted for a chic outfit this time, a tailored jacket with spikes on the shoulders and trousers that made his legs look longer. His eyes were contoured with heavy black lines and Magnus wore his best shoes.

If he was going to get scrutinized by Mrs. Angel, he was going to look the part.

“Magnus,” called one of the nurses. “Doctor Lydia is ready for you. Room number 12.”

That meant the end of the corridor and Magnus sighed. The Medical Building was the coldest of the facility, not only because it was immaculate white just like a hospital, but also because it smelled like depression. 

Figuring out it was better to face this probation with his head up, Magnus flashed the nurse a sweet smile and thanked her, getting up with a swift move. Crossing the corridor was the easy part, he realized once he was standing in front of the closed door. For some reason that escaped him, Magnus had to take a deep breath before knocking to announce his presence.

Doctor Lydia opened the door right away, her perfect face adorned with a pleasant smile. “Mr. Bane, please come in.”

If she hadn’t call him by name, Magnus would probably say it was a mistake and he had gotten the wrong door. Since there was no way out, though, he nodded and entered the room. 

Doctor Lydia had a clean style, classic and elegant. The room’s walls were as white was the rest of the building, but she decorated her office with a full bookcase, a beautiful desk, some paintings that Magnus assumed had been gifted to her by ex-patients, and several different kinds of seats. 

“Feel free to sit wherever you feel comfortable,” she informed, sensing Magnus’ hesitation. 

For a second, Magnus wondered what would be her reaction if he took her seat, but he settled for a cozy looking couch that faced her directly. Doctor Lydia made no comments, but her blue eyes flickered as she sat down. “Mr. Bane, I…-”

“Please, call me Magnus. Mr. Bane is for my father and I would be offended if someone got the two of us mixed up.”

“Oh, alright,” Doctor Lydia said with a short nod, writing something down. “And why would that offend you, Magnus?”

Because Asmodeus was a horrible person, a cocaine addict and an abusive father. Because he made sure Magnus knew how much he hated him, how much he despised his only son, a son he forced into his wife when he knew she was going to leave him for a better man. Because he is cruel, and vicious, and everything that Magnus wanted to stay away from.

“Because he has awful fashion sense, my dear,” Magnus said with a flourish. “As you can see, I have a reputation to maintain.”

Doctor Lydia nodded again, smiling just to be polite. She wrote again, a little more this time. “This is an interest choice of clothes. Most patients herd for comfortableness while in the Institute.”

Magnus frowned. She wasn’t only pretty, she was smart too, jumping for a more neutral subject and still managing to ask questions underneath her questions. He could see what Alec saw in her. “Do I not look comfortable for you, darling?” 

“You have spikes on your shoulders,” Doctor Lydia stated blankly.

Touché. “Those are hardly the pointiest objects to touch me this week,” Magnus said with a smirk. Maybe she was smart, but she was uptight to a fault, if her immaculate desk could be taken at face value. If he was uncomfortable, so would she be.

Doctor Lydia nodded impassibly, though. “There are too many needles in the admitting process, but the exams are necessary.”

Magnus blinked, stunned. He was not expecting that, especially when the doctor smirked and arched her eyebrows, making it crystal clear she was not falling for his trap.

He laughed despite himself. Magnus had been determined to hate the very sight of her, but he couldn’t help but take a liking to Doctor Lydia. “Alright, Doc. Is this the moment I start crying and telling you about my difficult childhood?”

“You could do that,” she said calmly. “But it would ruin your carefully done makeup and get us nowhere. It’s stated in your file that you were brought here by friends. How about you tell me about them? How did you guys meet, how long have you known each other?”

Now, that Magnus had no problems doing. Talking about Ragnor and Catarina was one of his favorite things, right there with a shot of Tequila. Doctor Lydia was a great listener and she made a few poignant questions, but otherwise let Magnus talk freely. Sometimes she wrote something down, but mostly she played with the thin golden chain around her neck, much like her husband did. It was cute and infuriating.

During his rambling, though, Magnus couldn’t help but notice that Doctor Lydia did not have a wedding ring. It was probably hanging on that pretty chain, underneath her clothes. From the little that he knew about them, Alec and Lydia seemed like discreet people, so he wasn’t surprised. Disappointed that they were so impossibly adorable, but not surprised.

Maybe it was best if he got over his little crush. Doctor Lydia was a fine woman and she did not deserve praying eyes devouring her husband, no matter how delicious he looked. They finished their session with a promise to see each other at dinner and Magnus was feeling good when he left the building. He had talked about his friends, showering them in praises for their dedication and loyalty. He didn’t go as far as saying he was thankful that they brought him there, but that was the general message he was going for.

He didn’t let his anger that they would dump him behind slip up once. The betrayal was still bitter in his tongue, but it was fading. Magnus was not one to hold grudges, and, for hell on Earth, the Institute wasn’t so bad. Even if he did not belong there, Magnus was having a pleasant first day. He refused to recognize those ninety-six hours in which he almost died repeatedly as the beginning of his stay.

It was still too early for dinner, so Magnus decided to take a walk. The facility was huge and there was a lot to explore besides the buildings he’d been to. Maybe he would go for a swim. Raphael wasn’t much of an outside kind of guy, but the sunlight was pleasant that afternoon, not too hot, but enough to make a pleasant warmth. His friend was too pale, he could use a serious tan to enhance those Latin features.

That was it. 

Magnus did not need treatment, since he was doing fine on his own. He had to stay in the Institute for a whole month, though. Therefore, he would make the best of a bad situation; he would use the time he was serving his sentence as a well-deserved vacation. Eat well, exercise regularly. An occasional talk with a professional to analyze some real problems in his life, like how much he missed partying. The Institute was a club; a very boring, alcohol-free club. 

But since he was not an alcoholic, Magnus wouldn’t even miss partying. All he had to do was show up to his therapy sessions and talk about his life, which was one of his favorite things to do. By the end of the month, they would either realize that had been a mistake or that he was “cured”. It was the perfect plan.

Feeling satisfied with himself, Magnus was about to go back to his room and drag Raphael to the pools when he heard a weird sound. It was like something was flying really fast and pretty close too, and then it stuck somewhere hard. Like an arrow.

Searching for the sound, Magnus wondered blindly for a few minutes until he finally found it. Behind an empty snack bar, there was an archery stand. And there was Alec, gracefully losing arrows like it was just another Tuesday. He hit the center of the target every time, but he only smiled when his last arrow sunk into the bull’s eye.

Of fucking course he was an expert archer. It wasn’t enough for him to be tall, and hot, and incredible cute, he had to master one of the sexiest weapons there is. Magnus was so frustrated. He had just decided to get over his crush and now this. Clearly the universe wasn’t on his side.

But he was a grown man. To prove he was completely capable of ignoring his infatuation, he decided to go talk to Cupid himself. If he was lucky, Alec would turn out to be boring, or stupid. That would be great, though Magnus wasn’t really counting on that. Not after meeting his sister and his wife.

Well, he could be a little like Jace. That would be a turn off for sure.

“Hello there,” Magnus said, approaching carefully. 

Alec had gone gathering his arrows and was starting to store them in his quiver, so he was probably done. Looking up with a slight frown, he smiled when he saw who was talking. “Magnus, hey.”

Since Magnus’ heartbeat did not increase one bit with that smile, no, Sir, he was feeling especially cool when he leaned against a tree, arms crossed against his chest. “It is my expert opinion that you should keep practicing, dear. You almost missed the center, like, once.”

Alec snorted. “Do you shoot?”

“Only in video-games, and that was a long time ago,” Magnus said with a flourish of his hand.

Pressing his lips together, Alec seemed to be considering that. “Would you like to try the real thing?”

Blinking, Magnus shook his hand dismissively. “I’m sure you have important work to do. I wouldn’t want to keep you from it.”

“I’m taking a break.” Alec shrugged. “Perks of being your own boss, I guess.” He picked up an arrow and offered it to Magnus. “Come on. There’s no need to be afraid.”

Magnus frowned and stood straight. “Who said I was afraid?” He marched up to where Alec was standing, taking the bow from those big, manly hands. “You will want to stand back, sweet-cheeks.”

Alec chuckled, clearly amused. “Do you even know what you’re doing?” He didn’t sound as patronizing as Magnus was expecting, but genuinely concerned.

A level-headed person would admit that they did not, in fact, know what they were doing. Magnus was not a level-headed person, especially after having his courage questioned by pretty boys. “I not only know what I’m doing, I will show you how it’s done.”

“Oh, alright.” Alec smiled and raised his hands in defeat. “Flex the arm holding the bow a little bit, so the string doesn’t hit you.”

“I know, Alexander.” Magnus rolled his eyes, and then an idea formed in his mind. “After I hit the target, you will own me a shot of tequila. Once I’m out of here, of course.”

Alec frowned, and for a second Magnus was afraid he had gone too far. But Alec smirked and shrugged. “Hit the yellow and I’ll buy you dinner.”

Now, that is what Magnus called incentive. He tried to recall how Alec was doing it, since he refused to let him help to nock the arrow. It took a little while to figure out, but soon Magnus was pulling the string, arrow in place. It was heavier than he expected, but he managed it. 

Remembering every movie he had ever watched, Magnus tried to channel his inner archer. He knew Alec was watching closely, but that didn’t make him nervous. Even if he wanted to impress, somehow Magnus knew Alec wouldn’t make fun of him if he got it wrong.

And he didn’t. Magnus let the arrow fly and it didn’t even make it to the target. Alec had a sly smile on his face when he finally gathered the courage to peek, but other than that he only explained to Magnus what he did wrong, showing him how to improve. He convinced Magnus to try shooting from a shorter distance and properly equipped him, patiently teaching him how to aim and giving him advice at every new attempt. He tried offering Magnus a lighter bow, but that Magnus refused, since he was no child.

After a couple of shoots, Magnus’ arrow finally hit the target. It sunk in the blue area, but it was enough for Magnus to jump in triumph. “Did you see that?!”

Alec nodded along, a huge smile spread through his lips. “I did! Well done!” He sounded every bit as proud as Magnus felt, and it was a great feeling. “A few more days and you’ll be hitting the yellow, no problem.”

“That sounded like a promise, and I will hold you to that, Alexander.” Magnus winked at him, but gave back the bow. “I think that’s too much for me. My arms are hurting like hell.”

“Sorry, I should’ve warned you,” Alec said with a worried look coloring his face. “Archery is very tiresome to the arms. You pull a lot of weight every time you shoot and you have to keep holding the bow firmly, or else it will tremble and ruin the shot. You did great, though.”

Magnus shrugged, but couldn’t help the smile on his lips. “Well, if you liked that, you should see what I can do in my fields of expertise. To name a few, there’s the dance floor, the bar, the bedroom.”

Alec chuckled, shaking his head. “You have no filter.”

“That’s what makes me so charming, my dear.”

“It does,” Alec said with a snort and rolled his eyes, looking mildly annoyed. “I have to go now, though. But I’ll see you at dinner?”

Magnus was about to remind him he hadn’t hit the yellow yet, but then he got his meaning. “Sure. See you at dinner.”

Nodding, Alec smiled at him one more time before gathering his bow and quiver and heading to the Administrative building. Watching him go, Magnus came to two conclusions. First, he desperately needed to get himself some painkillers.

Second, he did not have a crush on Alec. It was much worse. He was unstoppably and inescapably falling for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsie, Magnus.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! See you guys in a week!
> 
> A huge, massive thank you for the best beta in the world [Kazechama](http://kazechama.tumblr.com/). After months of plotting and really inappropriate talks about threesomes, here we are. Two more to go!
> 
> You can find me on both [Tumblr](http://sweetillusionketz.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](http://twitter.com/Ketz_CML/). Kudos, comments and tweets are more than welcomed and deeply appreciated!
> 
> Ketz


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey guys, Merry Christmas for those who celebrate it! And Happy Holidays for everyone!
> 
> Before diving in this next chapter, a fair warning: this is a heavy chapter and it might not be the best thing to read if you are already having a tough time today.
> 
> On other news, the first draft of chapter 3 is ready and going through editing as we speak, so there's light in the end of the tunnel.
> 
> Warnings: Alcoholism; Bad Decisions.

A little bit under two weeks in the Institute, Magnus was in a bad mood. Sure, he was gaining muscle by the day. Yeah, his skin was finally returning to its glorious bronze tan. Alright, he looked better than he did in a long, long time. 

Magnus was also bored beyond his mind.

At least he had Raphael. His friend was grumpy and cranky, but he was also fiercely loyal. Raphael listened to Magnus’ stories without ever falling for his lies, which was refreshing, while also sharing a few of his own. He told Magnus about his family, as he talked for hours about his mother and his brothers, about his Christian up-bringing, about the golden cross he cared around his neck. In those occasions, his voice was infused with a peaceful tone, full of longing but also pride. Raphael rarely talked about his father, but when he did, it was always in a low, guttural voice, enriched with anger and regret. 

Listening to his friend was among Magnus’ favorites things to do.

Another one of those favorites thing was the sparse stolen moments he spent with Alec. The Head of the Institute was a busy man who relied on a tight schedule to run the huge rehabilitation center to perfection. Magnus had figured out Alec’s routine quickly enough. 

After his daily jogging, Alec would meet his brother at the gym and workout for an hour. Then, he would disappear inside the main building until lunch hour, only emerging to meet Doctor Lydia or Doctor Izzy to eat. Afternoons were also spent in his office, but random urges for fresh air or a need to gather his thoughts would bring him to the archery bench or to a consultation with his family. Finally, Alec would end his days at the dinner hall and retire early. 

Raphael called him obsessed, but Magnus preferred to think he was simply observant. It was all for the better, because when he wasn’t working out or in therapy, it was easy for Magnus to accidently bump into Alec and strike out a conversation. It distracted him from the fact that he was slowly going insane trapped the facility.

The first signs of madness started when there was grape fruit to drink at lunch. Magnus had been craving a glass of wine and he didn’t even care for the type of grape or the year of the harvest. Seeing that cylindrical glass painted in dark red has set Magnus’ heartbeat into a frenzy. 

He didn’t eat that day and therapy with Doctor Lydia was torture. She could see how agitated he was, how he was incapable of focusing on any of her questions. The good doctor tried a handful of different technics to ground him, but all Magnus could do was squirm on his seat and answer platitudes until he finally snapped at her with an anger he wasn’t aware he possessed.

Drawing strength from her golden chain, Doctor Lydia didn’t even flinch. She finished the session and politely but surely asked Magnus to leave the office and calm himself. That made him even angrier, but Magnus stood up and left nonetheless. He trashed his room, though when he was done and sitting amidst the chaos, Magnus felt only guilt. 

He skipped a couple of sessions after that and hid from his doctor whenever there was a risk of seeing her. If Alec hadn’t searched for him to know what was wrong, Magnus would probably never come back to the treatment. 

“I know it’s hard,” Alec had said in a soothing voice when he found Magnus laying on the grass, sunbathing when he was supposed to be seeing Doctor Lydia. He sat down beside Magnus, hugging his knees and watching the blue sky. He was annoyingly pretty. “Lydia’s told me you’ve been making progress, though. She’s never mentioned about what you guys talk, of course.”

Magnus smiled despite himself and turned his face just enough to look at Alec. Under the bright light, Alec was scrunching his brow and he looked adorable while doing it. “Naturally. Not that I would mind if you got to know me better. Intimately better.”

With the small exception of a bemused glance, Alec didn’t react at all. “Anyway, do you think you’ll try and come back to therapy?”

“I’ll think about it,” Magnus relented with a dramatic sigh. “You’ll owe me dinner, if I do decide to go back. A proper date.”

At that, Alec snorted and faced him, a smile playing on his lips. “Does that mean you’ve given up on archery already?”

Magnus shook his head and leaned on his elbows. It might be the sunlight playing a prank on his eyes, but Magnus was quite sure he saw Alec’s eyes lean on his arms for a second too long. He dismissed that as wishful thinking. “Archery has given up on me. Besides, my teacher is rarely there to continue our private classes.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, and he sounded truly apologetic. His fingers ran through his own hand, a habit Magnus had picked up on when he too was feeling anxious. “It’s no excuse, but we’ve been receiving a lot of patients lately and there’s a bunch of paperwork to take care of. If I knew I’d be stuck behind a desk all day long, I would’ve studied administration at Idris University. I wouldn’t have to rely on instinct then.”

“Didn’t you?” Magnus frowned a little. He had pictured a younger version of Alec graduating as top of his business class.

Alec shook his head. “I’m a licensed psychiatrist. But I’m hoping to start an MBA on business after this Summer, now that the Institute is finally running smoothly.”

Magnus hummed in agreement. He had quit his LL.M. on financial law after a month, since it was impossibly boring and he knew for a fact Asmodeus didn’t care whether he attended it or not. The only way to make it bearable was by hitting the bar before class, but there Magnus met all kinds of interesting people. Compared to that, the appeal of the program paled dreadfully. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, my darling,” Magnus finally said, and it was only half a lie. Alec was clearly hard-working and there was a spark on his eyes when he talked about the Institute that made Magnus sure he’d go above and beyond for it. He was a care-giver and he’d found a way to channel that into doing good in the world. 

It would be easier to tear it apart. Magnus knew every word he could say to push Alec’s buttons, to destroy him. People like Alec were easy targets. He knew how to mock his efforts, how to reduce all that goodness into scorn. It couldn’t be real, not really. There were no such things in the world, not in his world.

But when he looked at Alec, at how peaceful he looked watching the quiet facility, it almost seemed possible that there was another world. It was like a window to a better place, a place that was never visible until then.

Magnus arched his eyebrows, pushing his lips together. He wondered how that feeling might be, of finding his call on life. It must be good to know who you are and what you want to do. It must feel even better to up and do it.

“Maybe you should go to Law School, Alexander,” Magnus said with a smirk. He chuckled when Alec looked at him with a puzzled expression. “Your convincing arguments did it. Please tell Doctor Lydia I’ll see her tomorrow, at our usual time.” 

If the serenity of his resolve wasn’t reward enough, Magnus was sure he had reached the right decision when the brightest of smiled spread through Alec’s lips and he nodded, trying and failing to hide how happy that made him.

\---

Doctor Izzy frowned, a long perfectly painted nail running on her purple lips. She was rocking the dark look as she studied the Magnus’ newest exams’ results and her concentrated expression revealed nothing. She made Magnus glad he had opted for a light outfit for that morning, since he was positively sweating in expectation.

“So?” Magnus said after the doctor laid the file on her desk. He leaned forward, laying both hands on the desk. “How much longer do I have?”

Isabelle closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly. “Oh, Magnus,” she murmured before looking up, her big brown eyes full of emotion. “I’d say, in my expert opinion, that if you keep up with what you’re doing… Well…” Isabelle blinked and smiled. “You’re going to live forever!”

Magnus giggled and clapped his hands once. “Not bad, hm?”

“Your progress is astonishing.” Isabelle turned the results to him, pointing at random numbers. “A couple more weeks and you’ll be in perfect health, see? This is where you were when you arrived here. Do you see all this red on the graphics? Now they are mostly green.” She winked at him. “And I have to say, you’re looking good.”

“Oh, you mean this old thing?” Magnus smirked, running his finger on his black tank top. On the front, it read If you drink, catch an Uber and, on the back, there was the logo of the company. Magnus found it cheeky, especially when he paired it up with a little cap.

The doctor nodded. “It’s rare to see someone look this good in workout outfit. Hitting the gym after our date?”

“Definitely. There’s little to do here on the mornings, you know? Between the art classes, the huge library full of books and movies, the beautiful pool, the beauty center, and the amazing restaurant, I’m often bored.”

Isabelle chuckled and her face screamed approval. “Physically, you couldn’t be better,” the doctor pondered, leaning on her arms. “But how about mentally? How are your sessions with Lydia? Would you want to move on to group sessions?”

Magnus felt the playful atmosphere vanish in a second. “I’m not feeling very sociable lately, dear,” he said with a polite smile. “I’d rather keep it personal with Doctor Blue Eyes.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” Isabelle shrug. She could hit a nerve, but would never pressure it. Magnus appreciate it about her. “Are you taking any of the classes on the gym? We have excellent rhythm classes. I think you’d like to dance a little for a change.”

Blinking, Magnus could feel a smile spreading through his lips. “Those are brilliant news. Any suggestions?”

Isabelle typed on her computer and turned the screen for him to see. “There’s a pop song class starting in five minutes with Helen. Ready to burn some calories?”

“You know, my dear.” Magnus smirked and stood up. “Dancing is my second favorite calorie-burning activity of all time.”

Isabelle’s laugh was still ringing on Magnus’ mind when he reached the gym. There were only a handful of people there, since it was too early for most of the patients, but Magnus saw the small group getting ready to start the dance class by the mirrors at the opposite wall of the building.

He also saw Alec running on the treadmill that directly face the space reserved for the class. He had ear bugs on and seemed utterly unmoved by the beauty queens in skin tight clothes gathering in his direct view. Jace was running alongside his brother, and he had no shame in stealing a few glances here and there.

Magnus smiled to himself and walked up to the giggling group, joining the ladies. They were all very welcoming, especially a bubbly blond was more than willing to help him to stretch when the teacher arrived, but Magnus had a clear objective none of them could deviate him from. 

His eyes crossed with Alec’s on the mirror and the Head of the Institute nodded him good-morning between heavy panting and blushing cheeks. It was a glorious sight, made even more beautiful when Alec averted his wink and blushed even further. Probably because Magnus was bending over, to stretch his legs, of course.

Maybe Magnus didn’t know the happiness of finding his call in life yet, but he knew the joy of confirming his crush was not straight.

For some reason, the teacher seemed to get what was happening, because she made a point of placing Magnus directly in front of Alec. There was no escaping him and during the warming up exercises, Magnus caught Alec’s eyes causally laying on his every move. At least four times.

He’d have to thank Helen later.

The song choice also helped. Not only the music was up-beat and entrancing on its own, Helen promptly had them all popping their hips and moving their legs at various paces, from fast enough to be classified at twerking, to very, very slow. They went up and down a couple of times and twirled on their heels under Helen’s commanding voice and, by the middle of the lesson, Magnus had locked eyes with Alec on the mirror, never letting go.

And neither did Alec. He was still running, his pace automatic at this point, lips parted as he breathed with his mouth. It didn’t matter what Magnus did, Alec was watching him closely, the initial chastity completely gone. At some point, he licked his lips, pushing the treadmill to go faster and Magnus laughed.

By then, Helen had them dancing free-style and Magnus closed his eyes, letting the song guide his movements. It felt like years since he had lasted danced. Not stumble around among a mass of bodies, not jump up and down when a favorite song of his played, but really danced. 

Once, that had been one of his favorites things to do. During group study sessions, Catarina and him would turn up the radio and dance in his living room, begging for Ragnor to join them. Sometimes he would, sometimes he wouldn’t, but the three of them would always laugh.

Magnus still had a few recollections of that simpler time, but most of them seemed impossibly far away. They felt like a dream he once had, one that wasn’t tainted by blurriness and confusion. It was very clear and so it was easy to dance to the sound of teenager laughter and silly jokes.

He was brought back to reality, however, when the loud sound of a body crashing on the floor startled everyone. Magnus turned on his heels just to find Alec fallen on his back, with pain spread all over his face. The women were quick to abandon their class and flock around him, making all kinds of distressed noises, but Alec assured them he was fine with a couple of grunts.

Jace quickly recovered from his worried expression when he saw his brother standing up. “Dude, you just stopped running,” he accused between laughs. “What happened? Did you forget how to push the stop button? It’s red, quite easy to spot.”

Alec rolled his eyes, trying and failing to look unaffected as he skirted away from the women’s hands. He seemed adamant in not looking at Magnus’ direction as he mumbled, “I got distracted.”

“Of course you did,” Jace said in a mocking tone. “Alright, ladies, I think he’s going to make it out of this alive. You can stop fretting.”

“Someone should take him to the Health Building!” One of the girls said.

Magnus ceased the opportunity at once. “I’m heading that way,” he announced cheerfully, finally stepping forward to join the group. 

That was met by some disappointed looks from the women, but Magnus didn’t care. Alec was still rubbing his back. It was probably just from the fall, but Magnus couldn’t help to be a little worried.

Alec shook his head, oblivious to the concern surrounding him. “I’m fine. There’s no need for all of this fuss.”

Jace narrowed his eyes at him, crossing his arms against his chest. “I don’t know, man. I saw you hitting your head pretty hard.”

“Stop that, or I’ll hit your head pretty hard.”

“That’s it, you’re going to see Izzy,” Jace decided with a ghost of a chuckle on his lips. “You haven’t threatened me since we were children. You probably have a concussion.”

Alec groaned and looked around, rolling his eyes at all the attention he was receiving. “Fine,” he finally relented. “But I don’t need anyone to take me there.”

Magnus cocked his head to the side, arching an eyebrow. “What if you swoon and fall again? It’s best if someone is there to carry you, Alexander. I volunteer to the experience of having you in my arms.”

Rolling his eyes again, Alec threw Magnus a very unimpressed glare as he ignored his brother’s deep frown at the comment. “Then tag along,” he said simply and turned on his heels to exit the gym. 

Magnus thanked their teacher and rushed to join him. Alec was using all of the power his strong, long, perfectly-shaped legs had to get the trip to his sister’s office over with as quickly as he could, which meant Magnus had to struggle a little to keep up with him.

“Alright. Slow down, darling. The building isn’t going anywhere and not all of us can cover a mile per step.” Magnus crossed his arms and stopped where he stood.

To his surprise, Alec stopped too and he looked mildly embarrassed. “Sorry. You must be tired from all of that… Dancing.”

“Only physically, but I have a very short refractory period.” Magnus winked at him, earning a snort from Alec. “There, I could almost see a smile.”

Alec actually smiled at that. “You really don’t have to come with me. I know you just went to see Izzy this morning.”

Magnus dismissed that with a flourish of his hand. “Maybe I just want to make sure you don’t one up your brother and go straight to your office to stare at some very boring paperwork without checking if you’re completely fine. But it’s nice to know you’re keeping a tab on me.”

“I have a file on you,” Alec corrected him absently, but seemed to realize what he had said, since his eyes doubled sizes in mortification. “N-not in, you know, a creepy way. We keep… Hm, files on everyone here. Every patient. And I wasn’t peeking into your file. I wasn’t. Izzy just mentioned she was excited to see you this morning, something about outfits. S-she likes your clothes.”

It was not fair that a 6’2 grown man could be this endearing. It really wasn’t. However, if the universe had aligned to bless Alec’s birth, Magnus wasn’t going to opposite it. Instead, he pouted. “So I’m just like any other patient here to you?”

“That’s not what I… T-that’s not what I meant, I-I just…” Alec looked even more lost, blinking and opening his mouth a couple times just to close it again and swallow hard. “Y-you’re confusing me!”

Magnus laughed and thrown his most assuring smile at Alec’s direction. “I’ve been told I’m a mystery to be uncovered. Now let’s see that head of yours, shall we? You’re clearly disoriented, Alexander.”

Alec nodded in agreement. “Clearly.”

\---

The only lasting consequence from Alec’ fall was his sister knowingly glances as she examined his head and looked from Alec to Magnus as if she knew exactly what had transpired. Magnus wouldn’t be surprised if she did; not only Isabelle was one of the most intelligent people he’s ever met, his time inside the Institute had thought him the Lightwood siblings were more than quick to share gossip when it could be used to embarrass each other.

Good thing none of them had access to Magnus’ mind, otherwise they would see how ridiculously relieved he felt when Isabelle announced that Alec’s scowl was too thick to be affected by a mere fall and that he would be fine, but for a small headache.

Magnus then insisted in accompanying Alec to the main building and he didn’t even care when Raphael saw they parting ways with a small ‘thank you’. It wasn’t fun to endure his friend’s suspicious stares, but Magnus felt better knowing Alec was safely delivered to his workplace. 

Call him overprotective, if you want. See if he gives a fuck.

“You’re like a puppy, following him around,” Raphael said when they had spent enough time on the pool for Magnus to had lowered his defenses and forgot that his friend was a little shit.

Magnus shrugged. “I’m more of a cat person, actually.”

Raphael ignored him, keeping him unimpressed expression intact. “He’s not going to fall for you.”

“I beg to differ,” Magnus said with a wink, but since Raphael had not been present to witness the gym incident, his wit was lost on him. “Anyway, I know he’s taken. It’s just a pastime while I’m stuck in this hellhole.” Seeing that Raphael was about to speak, Magnus lift a hand to stop him. “I don’t want to hear it, especially from a homewrecker like yourself. We have much to celebrate, you and I. My first results are out, and I’m almost a healthy person again.”

“I am not a homewrecker,” Raphael protested, but eventually sighed. “You keep saying you hate the Institute, but you seem quite content with yourself.”

“I’m always content with myself. That’s my normal face.”

“It’s unsettling. Stop it.”

Magnus decided that encouraging his rudeness wouldn’t help. Raphael shouldn’t be in rehab for alcohol; he should be dealing with his anger issues. “What were you saying about visiting hours the other day?”

“Visitors are allowed on every other Friday night, on scheduled visits, up to five people per patient. They can stay for dinner, but must leave at 10 pm. Anything they bring to the patient must be tested and approved before being delivered.”

“Anything?” Magnus chuckled at Raphael annoyed expression. “I hope they don’t try to test the Chairman, because he-” 

Magnus felt his heart skipping a beat. 

Chairman Meow. He hadn’t thought of his cat ever since he entered the Institute. No. He hadn’t thought of his cat since before that. He couldn’t remember the last time he had fed him, or even petted him.

Raphael frowned, taking a step forward. “What now?”

That couldn’t be. Chairman Meow was his best friend. His dearest and cherished companion. Magnus could never had forgotten him. He and the Chairman had been together since Magnus found the scrawny little kitten meowing by the door of his building, his small paws hurting from the scalding asphalt. He had taking him in and nursed the Chairman back to health. His intention was to give it to adoption, but every day the little ball of fur grew dearest to his heart and Magnus couldn’t bring himself to say good-bye to him.

But he had forgotten him.

“This is not funny,” Raphael said, anger coloring his features. “If you’re doing this to mess with me, I-” 

“I forgot him,” Magnus whispered, barely breathing. His eyes were stinging with tears, but it wasn’t worse than the guilt crashing his heart. “I forgot about my cat.”

Raphael blinked, all traces of irritation gone. Magnus felt a warm hand grab his arm and push him to walk. He didn’t know how, but suddenly they were entering the Health Building, heading to the Therapy Section. Raphael was shouting orders and the nurses seemed ready to protest, but even so, when Magnus realized, he was sitting in front of Doctor Lydia, only the two of them in her familiar office.

“Take your take,” Lydia said, her voice calming and commanding at the same time. She didn’t let room for the world to keep spinning, for the dreadful feeling of failing to keep increasing in Magnus’ chest. She made the room seem real, made the time stop.

Magnus swallowed the urge to scream away the paralyzing fear of hurting someone he loved. “My cat. I… I have a cat. But I had forgotten about him until now. How could I…? How…?”

Lydia nodded and leaned forward. “What’s your cat’s name?”

“Chairman Meow,” Magnus answered weakly. “His name… His name is Chairman Meow.”

“That is a clever name.” Lydia said in the same tone. She lifted her arm, offering him her hand to hold.

Magnus frowned. He looked at her, focusing on her clear eyes and ignored the gesture. “He’s a clever cat.”

“And you love him deeply.” Lydia’s voice was very clear, if nothing else seemed to be. She retreated her hand and soothed her unwrinkled skirt. “Magnus, you entered the Institute in an advanced state of alcoholism. It is not uncommon for patients in that state to forget their responsibilities towards their loved ones, even their pets. It does not mean you don’t love him or don’t care for him.”

“But I didn’t care for him!” Magnus cried out, feeling the tears break away. “I failed him! He depended on me and I failed him! Do you want to know the last thing I remember?! Me kicking him out of the way! I kicked him. I hurt him. I failed him.” Magnus struggled to breath. “I forgot him.”

Lydia waited a second to speak. “This is unfortunately true. However, that’s not what you should be focusing on right now.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her. To him, nothing else mattered. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lydia said with sharpness. “You should focus on what you’re going to do to change that.”

What he could do to change that. What he was going to do.

Magnus searched for his phone in his clothes, only to remember it had been confiscated during his admission. He had to talk to Ragnor or Catarina. One of them would know what happened to the Chairman. They had to. They loved the cat almost as much as he did.

And they would never fail where Magnus had.

Standing up with a jump, Magnus launched to the door, running as fast as he could. He passed through Raphael and ignored as Lydia called after him. There were phones on the Administration Building for emergencies. 

Magnus got there before either Raphael or Lydia could reach him. The reception was empty but for a single attendant, and she was already preparing to leave. 

“I need to use the phone!” Magnus cried, crashing against her desk. He could barely breathe, but it wasn’t important. 

The attendant jumped at her feet, clearly startled. “Calling hours are over, sir. Is it an emergency?” She laid a hand on the phone.

“Yes!” Magnus nodded eagerly. “I need to make sure my cat is alright!”

Frowning, the attendant let go. “Sir, I’m sorry, but that does not qualify as an emergency. I’m not authorized to make this call.”

Magnus’ heart dropped. “What? But you don’t understand! I have to talk to the Chairman!”

“Sir, I can’t-”

“What is happening here?” A third voice called. Alec’s voice. Magnus turned around and there he was, looking disconcerted as he watched the scene in front of him unfold. Alec crossed the room when he recognized Magnus, stopping a few feet from him. “Magnus, what is it?”

“I need to talk to the Chairman,” Magnus said between a hiccup. He didn’t want to explain, he just needed the phone. They had to let him take the phone. He was tired, and shaking, and so afraid. If he could just make the call, then… Then…

“What Chairman?” Alec asked, cutting through the turmoil in his mind.

Magnus grasped for air. It hurt, but Alec would understand if he explained. “My cat. I need to know if he’s alright.”

Alec nodded at once and leaned forward, grabbing the phone and offering it to Magnus. He held the base steady so Magnus could press the numbers and gently pressed the handset against his cheek, since Magnus was shaking too much to do it on his own.

It took Catarina three rings to answer. “Hello?”

Magnus gasped at her voice, grabbing the handset and Alec’s hand both. “Is the Chairman with you?!”

Thankfully, Catarina was used to receiving his unusual calls, so she didn’t hesitate. “Yes. And he’s fine. Ragnor brought him to my apartment when you were unconscious. He’s fine, Magnus. Don’t worry.”

The gust of air and relief that entered Magnus’ lungs was so powerful, it made him lightheaded. If it wasn’t for Alec being there to catch him, Magnus would have fallen as his legs failed him. Magnus leaned against Alec’s chest, letting the pair of strong arms hold him in place as he turned his attention to the phone. “I was so worried… Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Oh, Magnus, it’s no problem. Having him here is like having a part of you with me.” Catarina’s voice broke for a second, but she soon recovered. “We miss you.”

“I miss you guys too.” Magnus felt new tears running down his cheeks, but those didn’t hurt. They contoured the small smile on his lips and kissed his jaw, making him giggle. “Do you think you can come and pay your old friend a visit? This Friday?”

“Absolutely. I have to talk to Ragnor, but I’ll make it happen.”

“Good,” Magnus said. “I have to go. I’m kind of all over the Head of the Institute right now. Literally.”

Catarina chuckled. “I remember him. Handsome boy. Do you want me to pretend I have something of relevance to say so you’ll have to stay that way?”

“Considering he can probably hear us,” Magnus said and giggled when Alec, who was purposefully staring at the window, blushed and smiled a little, “I think it’s unadvised.”

“Too bad. See you on Friday then.” Catarina chuckled and hung up. 

Magnus sighed, putting the phone on the table in front of him. He knew he had to let go of Alec at some point, but the warmth from the other’s body was too comforting to give up. The Chairman was fine, under Catarina’s great care, and Ragnor and her were coming to see him in four days. Magnus was happy.

He chuckled to himself. When his eyes met Alec’s intrigued expression, Magnus shrugged. “Looks like my cat is with Cat. That’s funny.”

Alec smiled. “I’m glad he’s okay.”

“Me too,” Magnus said with a nod. He was going to say something else, but he caught Raphael’s shadow by the door and realized he was still vertically spread over the Head of the Institute’s broad, muscular chest. Which might not be appropriate.

Especially since his wife was regarding the entire thing with her sharp, analyzing eyes and clearly coming to all kinds of correct conclusions.

Shit. Magnus let go of Alec with a hard push and almost fell on his back while doing it. Of course Alec motioned to grab him, but thankfully it didn’t come to that and Magnus didn’t have to scream at the man for being so damn adorable. 

“This has been fun,” Magnus said, straightening up his clothes and turning to the door. “See you all at dinner.”

“Magnus, wait.” Alec stood up higher, and he had never seemed so tall and commanding. It was a little intimidating, but undeniably hot. “You’re still a pile of nerves. Take a couple of minutes to calm down. There’s a couch in my office. Sit down there for a while.”

Before Magnus could protest and run away with Raphael like he intended to, Alec was already showing him the way. To his surprise, Lydia nodded at her husband’s words. “You’ll probably be fine, but you just went through a rollercoaster of emotions. We can’t never be too careful.”

The professionalism of that woman had to be admired. She had just caught Magnus basically rubbing himself all over her man, and she still sounded caring and worried. He was determined to buy Lydia the most expensive diamonds he could find. “I guess there’s no arguing against the both of you.”

Alec shook his head, resolute. “Not since the day Lydia and I met. Go and sit. I’ll get you some water.”

And thus, Magnus found himself entering Alec’s office alone. It was a lifeless thing, all white and wood like the rest of the Institute. The main desk was impossibly neat, with at least four sets of files perfectly piled up and a computer. Just like Alec promised, there was a couch that Magnus found out was very comfortable to sit on.

By the time Alec showed up with a tall glass of water, Magnus realized the room wasn’t as impersonal as it seemed at first sight. There was a board with pictures of Alec’s siblings and friends behind the chair, hidden by an open curtain. The pens on the desk had been chewed on to smithereens and there was a stain on the carpet by the table’s feet. There was life in there.

Magnus accepted the water and patted on the unoccupied seat at his side. He waited for Alec to take it before speaking. “I’m curious. Why do you have a couch in your office?”

Alec smiled, a little embarrassed. “During the first years of the Institute, I spent a lot of nights here. Closing contracts, figuring out a way to make the balance positive, filing everything right. Izzy prohibited me to sleep on my chair, like I usually ended up doing, so Jace and her bought me this couch.”

“It really is astonishing how much you care for each other.” Magnus sipped on the water, suddenly realizing how dry his mouth was. He was very thirsty. 

Alec dismissed the comment by shrugging. “They are my family.”

“Not all families take care of one another. And even those who do are not nearly as dedicated as you are to your siblings and them to you.” Magnus finished his water with a sigh.

There was something to Alec’s silence that drew Magnus’ gaze to him, and he was surprised with the intensity he saw on those hazel eyes. 

“I know,” Alec said, and Magnus believed him. It was not chance that led the Lightwood siblings to be as close as they were, that much was crystal clear.

Magnus knew his wasn’t the worst story out there. He never considered himself a lost cause, nor a victim. There were people who endured hardships far worse than he could ever dream of. The world was full of all kinds of evil and they rarely came as punishment to people who deserved them. More often than not, it was the innocent who suffered. It was a fact of life that Magnus had come to terms with a long time ago.

Realizing that someone as profoundly good as Alec has been through some of that bad, however, was heartbreaking nonetheless.

Whatever had happened, Alec didn’t seem inclined to share. He focused his energy on Magnus instead. “You have your friends. Ragnor Fell and Catarina Loss. The ones that brought you here. They are your family.”

Magnus nodded. “In all but blood. But what does blood matter when we got love, right?”

“Right,” Alec said, almost violently. He seemed to have caught up on how intense he was looking, since his expression soothed immediately. “Are they coming to see you on Friday?”

“That’s the plan.” Magnus smiled a bit. “Too bad you won’t be here to meet them properly. They are so insufferable, they make me look good in comparison.”

Every Friday night, the Lightwood siblings and their spouses went to the city in order to give the patients space and also get some to themselves. It was a known occurrence. It also served to escape hysterical relatives; any questions or concerns were promptly solved by phone or email before, during, and after the patients’ recovery, but still some people made a point of cornering the Head of the Departments to demand answers. It was very stressful, so nobody blamed them for taking a night out to avoid a scene.

That would be the third Friday Magnus would watch Alec hop on a car and drive away with his family to freedom. Despite better judgement, they were always back by Saturday morning.

Alec smiled. “I talked to Ragnor during your admission process. He seemed nice.”

“Don’t let that old rag fool you.” Magnus shook his head dramatically. “He’s the devil in British disguise. He would have horns if the world was a fairer place.” Alec laughed at that, a wonderful sound that filled Magnus with indescribable joy. There was nothing Magnus wanted to say after that, until he realized there actually was. “Alexander, thank you. For letting me make that call.”

“It’s no trouble.” Alec ran his fingers through the back of his head. “We had a cat when I was a child. Whenever I went on a school trip or something like that, I would call home to make sure he was alright. I was the only one at home he didn’t clawed regularly.”

Magnus smiled fondly. He could see himself doing the exact same thing. “What happened to your cat?”

Alec pushed his lips together. “He vanished the day the boys next door moved away. He liked one of them better than us and he was a terrible cat, but I was still sad when I woke up and he was gone.”

“You poor thing.” Magnus reached for his hand. “Have you had any other pets since that?”

“No, our parents forbade us to bring any animals home,” Alec said with just a hint of lingering resentment. “I wanted a dog.”

Magnus chuckled. “Alexander, you’re too adorable. Why don’t you get one now? Doesn’t Lydia like animals?”

Alec frowned, confused. “Lydia? She loves animals.”

Magnus found that only fitting, but before he could elaborate, the office’s phone rang and Alec had to go back to work. Magnus used that as an excuse to slip away, as he desperately urged for a long bath. There had been too many emotions for just one day.

\---

Friday took its sweet time to arrive, but when it did, Magnus was ready. He had even tidied his room, something he hadn’t done in years. All his clothes were neatly stored in much too small the closet and he had sorted the photos his friends had send him all over the mirror he used to stylish his hair every morning. His bedroom had a pop of color at every corner, to make up for those hideous red buttons, and it reminded Magnus of home.

He missed his loft. 

Raphael was also restless. He had kicked Simon out of his room in the morning, yelling at him in Spanish as the poor boy ran for his life. When Magnus asked, Raphael had justified his outburst by groaning and mumbling something about a ruined jacket.

The two of them kept to their usual routine, but it was hard to eat anything so their one-hour long breakfast shortened to twenty anxious minutes. They made up for it at the gym, but even there it was unusually quiet. Time seemed frozen over, mockingly so, and Magnus couldn’t stop checking the clock on the wall waiting for 5 pm to arrive.

It appeared two days have passed when the Institute’s doors opened for the visitors. Raphael’s younger brothers ran to greet him, launching themselves into his open arms. His mother came right after, carrying her always present bible and a soft smile on her lovely features. Guadalupe Santiago might’ve been small and delicate, but there was undeniably strength on her, which she passed on to her oldest son.

Magnus was so entranced as he watched the Santiago family reunion, he was startled to see Ragnor and Catarina standing right in front of him. It felt a little like a mirage: he had waited so much to finally see them that it couldn’t be real. It was too easy and his life was not easy.

But a small meow sounded and Magnus smiled at the Chairman, who tried to escape from Cat’s arms to leap into his.

“Chairman!” Magnus exclaimed, snatching the cat and hugging him tight. “Someone is looking fabulous!” Someone – judging by his proud smirk, he suspected it was Ragnor – had attached a shimmering lace around his little neck.

Catarina chuckled. “He had to match his owner. Is this shirt new? I didn’t know you were allowed to go shopping.”

Magnus winked at her. “We have art classes here. I’ve put it to good use.” He tapped at the little spikes he had glued himself by the edges of his otherwise dull shirt. Biscuit had a DIY class on customizing clothes and Magnus was an assiduous attender. 

Ragnor shot him a false impressed glare. “If nothing else, you can sell t-shirts on the streets. Sounds more like a job than anything you’ve ever done.”

“It’s only been two seconds and I’m already regretting inviting you to come.” Magnus sighed and decided to focus his attention to someone who really mattered. He kissed the Chairman’s little temple and petted his fluffy fur. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m devastatingly sorry. I’ll make it up to you! Nothing but caviar from now on. Prada shoes for the winter. I’m going to spoil you rot.”

Catarina rolled her eyes, but there was a fond smile on her lips. “It’s good that you don’t actually have children, my friend. They would be insufferable.”

Magnus gasped in horror and covered the Chairman’s ears. “Don’t listen to her. You are my son and she’s just jealous.”

“Whatever you need to believe in to sleep at night,” Catarina said. “How about you show us around? We’ve taken the standard tour. I’d like the Magnus tour.”

“That’s a wonderful idea.” Magnus smiled deviously and snapped his fingers in front of Ragnor’s face. “Shall we? Or are you more interested in staying here and creep on my friends?”

Ragnor, who had been shamelessly gaping at Raphael laughing at one of his brother’s jokes, blinked and shook his head. “You know him?”

“Why do you insist in keeping the ‘I’m straight’ façade?” Magnus rolled his eyes. “So much effort for so little accomplishment.” He shrugged and gestured for them to follow his lead before Ragnor could come up with an answer.

Magnus showed them around the facility without a shred of rush. He was more than happy to just wander around listening to Catarina and Ragnor bicker as they told him about the outside world and their other friends. There were less news than Magnus was expecting; it seemed like three weeks away of the civilized world didn’t magically change everything. 

Three weeks. One more and he would be allowed to go, if he so wished to. But did he?

“Hey,” Catarina’s gentle voice brought him back to Earth. They were sitting at his room, chatting about nothing after Ragnor had found every hint of disorganization that Magnus had failed to hide. “Are you okay?”

“Never better,” Magnus said quickly, to sooth her worried expression. “I was just thinking. Maybe I should st-” Before he could finish his line of thought, however, Chairman Meow caught sight of something interested and leaped from Magnus’ lap, startling the three friends. “Chairman!” Magnus called, instinctively chasing after him. “Come back here!”

If the cat heard him, he gave no sign. No amount of yelling and calling slowed him down and the Chairman just kept running until he found what he was looking for. And what he was looking for was the sound coming out of Alec’s ear bugs.

Alec, who was still panting from jogging, had kneeled down to pet the cat. His hair was messier than the usual and he was wearing black working out clothes that did little to emphasize his body. 

But that wasn’t what made Magnus frown. “Alexander? What are you doing here?”

“I believe he works here,” Ragnor chimed in helpfully. 

Magnus just stared at his friend. “Yes, but he should be at the city with his family.” He turned to Alec. “Shouldn’t you?”

Alec, who had looked like a kid caught doing mischief, cleared his throat. “I didn’t want to go this time. Clary and Izzy decided to go to a karaoke bar and that’s not… That’s not my thing.” He frowned, as if he was surprised somehow, but then picked up the cat, raising to his feet. “Is this Chairman Meow?”

Magnus, Ragnor and Catarina gasped in unison. The Chairman was a loving cat, but never with strangers. If anyone he didn’t know tried to carry him, he would hiss and scratch and turn into a real beast. He had almost scratched an eye out of Magnus’ ex-girlfriend once.

With Alec, though, he just purred and nuzzled up to his chest. 

“Okay, then.” Magnus arched an eyebrow. “I thought that was him, but maybe I’m wrong.”

Catarina rolled her eyes. “It is him. Hello, Mister Lightwood. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Miss Loss,” Alec greeted her in a much too formal manner for a guy wearing sweat shorts. “Mister Fell.”

“Well, that’s weirding me out,” Magnus announced as his friends shifted to professional modus operandi. “Why don’t you join us for dinner, Alexander? I don’t want you to eat alone tonight.”

Alec blinked and opened his mouth, closing it right away. He was clearly not expecting that. “I don’t… I don’t want to intrude.”

Catarina and Ragnor looked between themselves and said nothing, which Magnus thought was rude. “You wouldn’t be intruding, my dear. There’s only so much I can endure from my friends all by myself. It’s not really an invite, but more of an ask for help. Maybe with you there, they will shift their abnormal need for gossiping from my life to yours.”

His expression alone made it clear Alec was very disinclined to accept the offer, especially after that explanation, but Magnus pouted at him, bashing his eyelashes enough times to freak him out successfully. 

“Okay. I’ll meet you at 8 pm,” Alec relented, giving the Chairman back to his owner. The cat shot Magnus an annoyed look, as if he was the reason his new toy had been taken away, but otherwise let himself be handed over. 

“See you then.” Magnus smiled brightly and turned on his heels to his friends as Alec nodded and went on his way back to the staff building, where his dormitory was located. That had been a nice little surprise; having Alec for dinner was the cherry on top of a delicious sundae. Magnus was beyond happy. Until he saw the look on his friends’ faces. “What?”

Catarina looked for words, but Ragnor had no such delicacy. “Since when are you fucking the Head of the Institute?”

“I wish,” Magnus said. “He’s married to the world’s most perfect woman. She’s so amazing, even I love her.”

Ragnor didn’t appear convinced. “He’s also clearly wrapped around your little finger.”

“Why don’t you guys have a threesome?” Catarina unhelpfully said, before Magnus could mock his best friend for being so obtuse about human interactions. “That would solve everything.”

“I’m usually the one people say this to, but,” Magnus sighed, not believing on what he was about to say. “Please refrain from making inappropriate remarks during dinner. Alexander is, first and foremost, my friend. His wife is my therapist. That I’ve falling in love with him is my problem, not theirs.”

For the second time in a very short period of time, Magnus found himself the recipient of wary looks from his two best friends. “What now?”

Catarina shook her head. “It’s just… The last time you had fallen in love with someone and admitted it like that… It didn’t end so well.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes. “Alexander is not Camille.”

“Of course. He’s probably human, not the personification of evil in high heels,” Ragnor agreed bitterly. “Don’t blame us for getting worried, my friend. Half of the reason you got to the point of needing to come here was what she’s done to you.”

Magnus shivered. He did not want to talk about Camille, nor the endless nights he chased after her from club to club, showering her in presents and liquor to ensure her attention. He didn’t want to come back to the bur that had been their relationship and how she had sold herself as a prize to be conquered, as the epitome of the perfect glamorous life in which Magnus could escape all his problems. She had promised him fun and defiance, and for a long while that was what they had. Until it turned into misery and pain.

He had seen her as a dream once. When he thought of her now, it was always as a nightmare. Camille was not the bright flame of life he had seen her as. She was wildfire and she consumed everything she touched.

“There’s no need to worry, my friends,” Magnus said with a lower tone that he intended to. “At this point, I’m fireproofed.” He smiled brightly. “Now, let’s get ready to eat. I have a date with a handsome man and two friends to entertain. Finally, I’m in my element.” 

If Catarina and Ragnor bought his little confident act, they did so silently. Magnus took that as victory and dragged them to help him chose an outfit for the night, which took about a whole hour between Cat’s practical suggestions and Ragnor’s gasp in horror at every choice Magnus made.

They were fifteen minutes late when they joined Alec, but the Head of the Institute seemed happy to see them regardless. He was quick to engaged in a conversation with Ragnor when he learned about his career as a museum curator and Magnus had the best of times watching Alec’s eyes lit up as he talked about ancient random facts he knew.

Thankfully, his friends behaved properly and left the more embarrassing questions for dessert time. Alec was gracious as he answered about his up-bringing, always focusing on his siblings’ mischiefs as Catarina and Ragnor took turns to coerce him into revealing embarrassing stories. Magnus learned a lot about Isabelle and Jace that night, but also a little about Simon and Clary, as the five of them were friends from high school. 

Alec joined them for a walk at the entrance garden when Magnus asked him, and that was Catarina’s turn to reveal the best and the worst there was to say about Magnus and Ragnor. As the level-headed ones, Alec and Cat hit it off quite well as they rolled eyes at their friend’s capacity to stupidity. 

Magnus wished 10 pm would never arrive. He was standing between Ragnor and Cat, arms linked with both of them as they watched the night sky. Alec was a couple of feet away, sitting on the grass as he played with the Chairman.

The moment didn’t feel like a dream. It felt like reality, which was much better.

“I’ve been thinking,” Magnus said after several minutes of comfortable silence. “Maybe I should stay here for another month.”

“You think so?” Catarina just arched an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate before forming an answer. 

Ragnor just shot him a reprehensive glare. “Tell me that’s not just because you want to hit that.” He gestured at Alec’s direction, who was safely away and unable to hear them. “Because you seriously just need a couple of hours. The sexual tension is killing me.”

Magnus chuckled. “Oh, no. I think I’m finally understanding why you guys wanted me to come here in the first place. It took me a while, but now… I think that if I stay here a little longer, it will do me good.” He looked between his friends with a determined smile that felt right. “And I need to do this on my own. I’m thinking of really taking some real vacation from the outside world. No calls, no visits. Just me, myself and I, for an entire month. I need to learn to love myself as much as I love the two of you.”

Catarina’s crushing hug and Ragnor’s soft smile was all the confirmation Magnus needed to know he had made the right choice.

\---

His next week at the Institute began like no other. Magnus had a new fire burning inside of him and he was determined to put his words into action, which meant waking up early for an hour of morning yoga before joining Raphael for a balanced breakfast and more exercising.

Magnus had decided to try group therapy too and for the first two days, it had been an uncomfortable but insightful experience. Hearing his own life mirrored on other’s people experience was as close to an out-of-body experience as Magnus ever wanted to come. He saw himself at every tale, from the innocent drinks with friends to the week-long non-stop partying. 

Knowing you are not the only one with a problem is very different from seeing it.

He kept his private session with Doctor Lydia as well. When Magnus told her his plan, Lydia agreed that it would be beneficial to extend his treatment period and helped him outline his most sensitive topics to discussed. At no point she pressured Magnus into talking about any of the stuff he opened up about at that outlining. They stuck to listing what Magnus thought he wanted to talk about most and Lydia promised they would start working from there.

Magnus was feeling productive for the first time since he could remember. He had a plan and he was putting it to action. It was a great sensation, to walk step-by-step towards a goal.

So, naturally, it all started to crumble before his eyes.

It was Wednesday in the late afternoon that the first sign of trouble appeared. Magnus met up with Raphael at his friend’s room, which was a very uncommon. They had set a pattern of staying at Magnus’ since Raphael couldn’t stand when his friend messed his meticulously tidied stuff.

Stuff that was even more organized than normally that day. Raphael was folding his vast collection of jackets when Magnus entered the room. “Stay by the door and do not touch anything,” he ordered through clenched teeth. 

Magnus blinked, slightly offended. “I literally just came in.”

“And I’ve already misplaced something, so keep your distance.” Raphael shot the pants in his hands a warning look and started over the process.

Sighing, Magnus figured obeying was for the best. Every piece of gourmet Raphael owned was laid out over his bed, folded and piled up. His stylish shoes were very intriguing, so Magnus wasted a couple of minutes examining them before growing bored of watching his friend work in silence.

“While I must say I’m impressed by your wardrobe I don’t understand why you felt the need to parade it like this.”

Raphael shot him an annoyed glare. “I’m obviously packing. Some of us prefer our luggage organized.”

Magnus frowned. “Packing? Where are you going?”

Something in his voice made Raphael stop. He turned to actually face Magnus, and there was the smallest of hesitations on his features. Magnus wanted to reassure him, though he wasn’t sure of what.

Raphael broke eye contact, looking somewhat embarrassed. “I’m being discharged tomorrow morning,” he said quietly, almost like an apology. 

Blinking, Magnus let the words wash over him before fully grasping their meaning. Once he did, Magnus smiled brightly, clapping his hand once. “That’s fantastic, my dear! Is your lovely mother coming to pick you up? I’m sure your devilishly charming brothers are more than happy to have you back.”

“They are,” Raphael said still in a tentative voice. There was something on him that didn’t befit a man who was about to get back into the world, cured and healthy.

And then it hit Magnus. If Raphael was being discharged, he was going to be left alone in the Institute.

“Oh,” Magnus breathed out, all excitement gone. He was slowly filled with guilt, for putting himself before his friend’s health. As much as he liked to pretend, the Institute was not a vacation club; it was a rehabilitation facility. The goal was to be discharged and Raphael had done it.

That Magnus was staying behind was not important. The least he could do was to be happy for his friend.

Swallowing hard, Magnus tried to smile again. It was a broken thing, full of teeth and sadness. “How about I help you pack, hm?”

Raphael shook his head. “It’s not necessary. I’ll be ready for dinner in half an hour. I’ll meet you in your room.”

“Actually,” Magnus said, staring at the piles of clothes, “I’m not feeling very hungry. I think I’ll skip dinner tonight.”

“There’s Thai food,” Rafael informed with a wary voice. Magnus had no doubt he knew what was happening. 

He also didn’t care. “You enjoy it, then.” Magnus smiled and this time he would have managed it, if not for the tears filling his eyes. “Good-night, Rafael.”

On the next morning, Magnus ignored the morning call that usually got him up. He had been awake for hours, listening to soft sounds coming from the other side of his wall and imagining what his friend had been doing, since neither Simon nor Isabelle had come to pay him a nocturnal visit. Rafael knocked on his door a couple of times, but Magnus ignored him too until he went away.

It was past 11 am when Magnus decided to get up. Rafael was long gone, surrounded by his loving family and a bright future in front of him.

He wasn’t feeling hungry, so Magnus decided to wander around the facility to try and distract his mind. He knew a couple of other patients, but all of them bored him. He would have to find a way to make them interesting, if he was to stay another month. It seemed such a long time now.

Magnus used the interphone at his room to let Lydia’s assistant know he wasn’t going for the afternoon’s session. He didn’t even have to come up with an excuse; just the sound of his voice was enough to convince the nurse he wasn’t feeling so good. 

He skipped lunch, and then art class. At 7 pm, his stomach was claiming for food, so Magnus locked himself in his room and slept. He woke up to the silence of the Institute in the dawn and stared at the red button over his head until he fell asleep again.

Magnus was contemplating repeating his little routine in the next morning when someone knocked on his door. An insistent sharp knock that could only belong to one person. 

“Go away, Alexander,” Magnus said, or tried to. His throat was so dry, he had to clear it before being able to speak.

“Magnus.” Alec’s voice was muffled by the wooden door, but it still carried the hint of a plea.

He could ignore him. Alec was a busy man, he eventually would have to go and tend to some more important business.

Magnus stood up with a sigh and drag himself to open the door. “To what do I owe this honor, Alexander?”

Alec frowned, but stood by the door. He was wearing his Head of the Institute’s clothes, a pair of black trousers and a rough jacket, and he had a deliciously smelling sandwich in his hands. “I was informed you didn’t show up to eat all day yesterday, so I brought you some food.”

“That’s very thoughtful, darling.” Magnus crossed his arms against his chest and arched an eyebrow. He felt a pang on his heart, and it darkened his eyes. “And inappropriate. Unless you do that for all patients.”

Alec’s mouth fell open and he blinked, realizing what he was doing. His shoulder dropped and he looked around, searching for words. “I… I don’t. It’s just… You got to eat.”

Magnus stared at him, trying not to focus on the way Alec’s fingers fidgeted with the edge of the plate he was holding or how his hazel eyes never stopped for too long in his discomfort. 

“Come on in,” Magnus said eventually and sat on his bed, indicating for Alec to do the same. “I could do with a snack.”

Alec nodded and sat by his side, offering him the food. There was a little colorful salad and a portion of French Fries along the sandwich, and Alec had a bottle of green tea, which was Magnus’ favorite. “I asked them to add a bit of curry, because I know you like some spicy in your food.”

Instead of pinching Alec’s cheek like he felt an urge to do, Magnus picked up the sandwich and bit into it. Suddenly, he realized he was starving. Alec waited in silence as Magnus devoured the entire plate, washing it down with the tea. He looked at Alec asking for more, which him chuckling.

“Here,” Alec said, searching in the pocket of his jacket and revealing a half-eaten chocolate bar. “I stole this from Izzy.”

Magnus beamed at him. “You know me so well.” The sweet made even the gloomy light of the room seem brighter, but it also might’ve been because Alec opened the windows to let the sunlight get in. “You’re ruining my vampire vibe.”

“Not sorry,” Alec informed and sat down at his side again. “Vampire doesn’t suit you.”

“That’s because you’ve never seen me drinking a glass of red wine. You would be surprise.” Magnus shrugged and leaned the back of his head against the wall. The food had him feeling fuzzy on the inside. “Do you prefer red or white wine?”

“Neither.” Alec shook his head. “I don’t drink.”

Magnus stared at him, hoping the entirety of his contempt was being properly channeled. “You make it very hard for someone to ask you out, Alexander. And not the fun kind of hard.”

Alec snorted and also leaned against the wall, turning just enough to face Magnus. “You don’t necessarily need to drink to have a good time. You can have great food or go to the movies. A concert. I’ve always thought going to a museum exposition would be nice.”

“There’s always Netflix and chill,” Magnus said and smiled at Alec’s small chuckle. “Okay, so no booze. But would you dance with me if I took you to a club?”

Alec seemed to ponder on the question. “That depends on how okay you are with having your feet crushed from time to time.”

“It’s not my feet I want you to crush.” Magnus winked at him. “The food was great, but I can think of another way you can make me full.”

For a second, Magnus thought he had gone too far, but Alec laughed. “How do you manage to say those things with a straight face?” He asked and there was real wonder in his voice as he turned completely to face him.

Magnus just smirked, leaning at his direction with an innocent bat of his eyelashes. “That’s the only straight I am.”

Alec shook his head, but there was a smile on his lips. “Being straight has nothing to do with that. Well, not that I would know.” It was hard to keep things in harmless flirting level when Magnus barely listened to what Alec was saying. All he could think of was what Alec tasted like. How much he wanted to forget the world outside that room and run his fingers along Alec’s gorgeous face. He could see every inch of it. Alec was so nice, so utterly good, everything that had to do with him seemed right to Magnus. 

And there Alec was, bringing him food and comfort and forgiveness. They were so close, Magnus could clearly see the scar on Alec’s eyebrow. He wanted to kiss that scar. 

And so he did. Magnus leaned forward and pressed his lips against Alec’s eyebrow, feeling a shiver run down his body when Alec inhaled sharply under his touch. He didn’t flinch away, not when Magnus lowered his lips and pressed a second kiss on his cheek. 

Alec had closed his eyes, his lips slightly parted. Magnus looked at him, watching as Alec breathed in softly, as if he was waiting, too afraid to open his eyes and realize whatever just happened wasn’t real.

Magnus wanted to prove him it was, though. He closed the distance between them, crushing their lips together. Alec gasped against his mouth, his tongue finding Magnus’ at the same time he rested a hand on Magnus’ shoulder.

And pushed him away. 

“I can’t.” Alec’s expression was almost as miserable as his broken voice. “I shouldn’t’ve. That was wrong. Magnus, I’m sorry.”

Magnus breathed in slowly, letting the air fill his lungs and expel the hurt of rejection. “I understand. You weren’t alone, though, Alexander. I can tell her it was all me, that you did nothing to-”

Alec frowned. “What? Tell who?”

It was Magnus who frowned this time. “Lydia.”

“W-why would I tell Lydia?” Alec asked, his voice going two tones higher in confusion.

Magnus couldn’t help but to feel disappointed. He’d expected Alec would want to come clean. It was wrong and messed up of Magnus to force himself on him, but it was even worse of Alec to want to hide it from Lydia. He was the one who owed her fidelity and respect. Up until that moment, Magnus thought Alec was the kind of person who cherished those traits. Maybe Magnus was as wrong about that, as he had been about so many things. Maybe he was so broken, he had to break the few good people he could find on his way to an early grave in order to not to feel so alone. 

Sighing, Magnus decided that he owed it to Lydia to make at least this right. “Because she’s your wife and we just… I’ve just kissed you.”

Alec blinked a couple of times. “Lydia is not my wife.”

Magnus’ mouth fell open. That was the lamest kind of denial he had ever heard. Magnus had to have heard wrong. “What do you mean she’s not your wife?”

“We’re not married,” Alec said quickly, almost defensively. “To each other, that is. I’m not married at all. She’s married to another guy.”

That didn’t make sense. Magnus had seen how Alec and Lydia acted around each other. Sure, they rarely touched, but true intimacy was not measured by the number of kisses people exchanged. It was on the way they always seemed to know what the other was thinking, how they communicated with a single look, how they never contradicted each other, like a well-oiled machine. Alec and Lydia made a solid partnership.

But that didn’t mean love. 

“You have matching golden chains,” Magnus accused, pointing at the evidence as if it was final proof.

Alec stared at him as he took his chain from beneath his shirt, revealing the insignia of his university. “We bought it during our senior year, when I told Lydia I wanted her to help me build the Institute. Lydia and I are just friends. I’m gay, Magnus.”

Magnus stared at Alec, letting all of that sink in. And then he leaned forward for another kiss.

He didn’t make it, as Alec stopped him again. “I can’t, Magnus. Please, stop.”

That enraged him. “If you’re not married, then why?! We’re not doing anything wrong. Do you not want this?”

Alec shook his head, stubbornly. He had a resolved expression on that was almost enough to conceal the sadness on his eyes. “You’re my patient. I’m the Head of the Institute. We can’t be together. I would be taking advantage of you, if I-”

“Leave.” 

Alec stopped mid-sentence, his mouth still forming the words, but Magnus didn’t care. He repeated himself, surer this time. “Leave, Alexander.”

There was a hint of protest on Alec’s eyes, but he pressed his lips against each other and rose up. “I truly am sorry,” Alec said, his voice deep with regret, though Magnus couldn’t say what he regretted. 

The Head of the Institute threw a last glance at Magnus and left.

And then, Magnus decided, it was his turn to go.

\---

Securing his release from the Institute was easy enough. Medically, Magnus had never been better. His indices were on pair with an amateur athlete and Doctor Izzy, for all her many attempts, couldn’t find a single health reason to tie him to the facility. 

Doctor Lydia didn’t fare much better when Magnus met her to request a discharge. His psyche was as healthy as it could get, as far as testing techniques go, and Magnus was adamant in saying he wished to terminate their professional relationship. There were no arguments Lydia could make against that and she had tried a few.

The only person Magnus said good-bye to was Clary and that was only because she ran after the taxi when the car started driving away. Magnus asked for the driver to wait and hugged her tight, promising her he was just fine and that he would call his Biscuit if he needed anything.

He trashed her phone number along with his medical results as soon as he stepped inside his loft. Catarina had send someone to clean the place one a week when Magnus was away, so it didn’t seem inhabited as much as dark and unfamiliar. Chairman Meow was not there and it was for the best.

Magnus dropped his bags on the floor unceremoniously and began his quest to find something to drink. There had to be something to wash away the bitter taste of rejection from the back of his mouth. First he was abandoned by Raphael and then Alec rejected him despite having no better reason than his useless job. As if perfect goody-two-shoes Alec could take advantage of anyone, ever.

He was feeling alone, but Magnus couldn’t call his friends. He had stupidly announced that he intended to stay for a month longer in that hellish place, so Magnus couldn’t make a fool of himself and tell Ragnor and Catarina that he had given up. He was on his own.

Especially since all his liquor appeared to have been stolen. Well, fuck you too, Ragnor.

Magnus collapse on his couch, wondering what to do next. He still had the number of a liquor delivery store that always granted him a handsome discount. That would do. 

Fishing his phone from his pocket, Magnus fidgeted with it for a bit. It had been so long since he had access to the world so easily, it was weird. Magnus almost felt like a child disobeying his parents.

He found the number he was looking for and pressed it. He hadn’t eaten properly before leaving the Institute, so Magnus had decided to order pizza instead of booze, at least for the next couple of hours. Just because he had stormed off a rehabilitation facility, it didn’t mean he had to go cliché all the way and drink to forget.

Magnus was skipping through channels on TV when the ring bell sounded. Grabbing his wallet, he pulled himself up to fetch his food. If anything, the prospect of eating melted cheese warmed up his heart.

Not for long, though, since when Magnus opened the door it wasn’t the delivery boy he found standing on the corridor. It was Camille. 

“What are you doing here?” Magnus asked after a second of shock. 

“A little bird told me you were back among the living,” Camille said with a dangerous smirk on her blood red lips. She pouted, just enough to gather an aura of false innocent around her. “I thought of stopping by and saying hello.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her. “And so you have. I want to be left alone tonight, so off you go.”

Camille chuckled, but it looked like a calculated thing. Everything about her seemed thought of, from the curves of her long hair to the skin tight dress. She looked stunning as always, and far more dangerous than the usual. “It’s no good to come back to an empty house. Where are those friends of yours, darling?”

“I haven’t told them I’m home yet,” Magnus said carefully, trying to predict where she was going with this act. It was hard to tell with her.

A predatory smile spread through Camille’s lips. “That’s too bad,” she said without a hint of disappointment and showed him the bottle of scotch she was carrying. “They are going to miss your welcome back party.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it make it better if I say this story has a happy ending? :D
> 
> A little bit of shameless self-promotion: for anyone needing fluff and idiots falling in love, I have an actual [Holidays themed oneshot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8953456/). See? I am not a monster. It's been there for (2) days now!
> 
> The biggest thank you and so much love for the always amazing [Kazechama](http://kazechama.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing and helping in some many other ways. You rock my world, girl.
> 
> As for me, I'm on [Tumblr](http://sweetillusionketz.tumblr.com/) and on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/Ketz_CML/). I'm always happy to answer questions and to hear what you guys have to say, so shoot away!
> 
> Happy Holidays, guys! Cheers :D
> 
> Ketz


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey <3
> 
> Last chapter, guys! I hope you've enjoyed this ride, because it's gonna get very bad before it gets better.
> 
> And then I just might kill everyone. With kindness.
> 
> Enjoy <3
> 
> Warnings: Alcoholism. Abusive Relationship.

The end of the month was always the worst part of the job for Alec. He was reasonably good with numbers, way better than he ever was with words, but that wasn’t enough to be able to be confident on his ability to survey the closing of the Institute’s finances. 

Who would think all those hours stuck in his mother’s office as she did the same with Lightwood Inc. were going to amount to Alec having some an idea of how to run a business? Well, probably Maryse, though Alec doubted she intended said business to be anything else than the family’s company.

He desperately needed that MBA and he couldn’t wait for the summer to arrive. Until then, though, it was good that Alec had piles of work to take care of. He had been feeling miserable ever since he drove Magnus away and passing by the empty room 16 every morning for a month hadn’t helped in the slightest. 

Alec sighed, putting down the documents he had been failing to analyze. He should never have let things get to the point they did. Magnus was finally starting to show real improvement, and not the bullshit happy façade he put up for the world to see. Lydia had been very excited to finally be able to truly help him and all exams Izzy had run on him showed clear signs of a healthy body in the making.

And now, because Alec couldn’t control his feelings, Magnus was gone and out of touch. When Izzy, Jace and Alec had first thought of the Institute, they had settle for a non-invasive methodology. Patients came and went as they pleased, and they would never force anyone to stay or go back if it was not their will to do so. First and foremost, their patients agreed to be there.

None of that stopped Alec from wishing he could get Magnus to come back, though. They had been so close to break through his defenses and actually be able to help him be the amazing man that Alec knew he was. Because Magnus Bane was the most extraordinary person Alec had ever met. 

He was fierce, both in his love for others and in his intelligence. He was charismatic, a true born leader that had all the world’s graces within reach of his fingers, should he want to touch them. And he was good, despite all the suffering he had gone through and inflicted, he was good, and kind, and compassionate.

And in a world where those traits were so often overlooked, Magnus was brave to continue to be like that in the face of absolute neglect. It wasn’t for nothing that he had constructed his own family and captivated so many great people to surround himself with. Magnus was loved because he was loving, and Alec wanted nothing more than to help him realize he was allowed to love himself as well.

But now he was gone, even if Alec saw him everywhere he looked. He recognized Magnus’ smirk on his sister’s lips. Every time Jace had mischief in his eyes, Alec’s mind wondered what trouble Magnus was causing at the moment. If Clary showed him a new project, Alec could imagine what Magnus would have to say about that. Even Simon’s lame jokes made Alec miss Magnus’ innuendos.

Not to mention that he couldn’t walk in Lydia’s office without the creeping knowledge that Magnus would still be frequenting there if it wasn’t for Alec and his unacceptable behavior. 

It would’ve been easy to reach out. Alec had all of Magnus’ information in his file, but he had refused to open it after signing his discharge papers. There was nothing else linking them and that was Magnus’ will, so Alec had to respect him. He couldn’t bother him any further than he already had.

And so Alec didn’t try to talk to him, despite not being able to forget Magnus either. He tried to get him out of his head, but deep down Alec knew that wasn’t were Magnus had made a home for himself. He wasn’t a constant in Alec’s mind as much as he was in Alec’s heart.

One month wasn’t usually enough time for Alec to fall in love, but then again, there was nothing usual about Magnus Bane.

“Focus,” Alec hissed to himself. He couldn’t keep day dreaming, not when he had to close the Institute’s financial balance. Verifying if all the numbers checked out was not how Alec wanted to spend his Friday night, but it was an important job nonetheless.

It did nothing to help him distract his thoughts from Magnus, though. Alec found himself coming back wondering about Magnus every couple of receipts he filed. It got so bad after a while, he thought he had actually read Magnus’ name on one of the invoice.

Wait a second. Alec frowned and took a double check. It wasn’t his mind playing a trick, there really had been a payment in Magnus’ name for another month at the Institute, everything included. It didn’t make any chance.

Alec typed on his computer and confirmed that Magnus had been completely discharged. The payment had been done spontaneously, then. Cursing inwardly, he stood up and grabbed his phone. Hopefully, he’d be able to settle the chargeback and get this over with. The last thing he needed was having to call Magnus’ father to talk about money.

Another thing Alec didn’t want to do was talking to Magnus’ very confused and maybe a little pissed off friends, but on his way to a place with better reception, Alec was faced with Ragnor and Catarina.

“Alec!” Catarina called for him, turning away from the poor nurse she had been yelling at probably for a good ten minutes now. “This woman is telling us Magnus left last month.”

“Thank you, Lily,” Alec said and walked to them. “That’s because he did. Magnus requested a discharge at the end of last month. But something is wrong.”

Ragnor nodded. “Obviously. He didn’t tell us anything about leaving. In fact, he told us the exact opposite. He wanted to stay.”

Frowning, Alec looked at the paper in his hand. “I think you guys are not the only ones Magnus forgot to tell about him leaving.” He showed them the receipt. “I just saw this. His father is still paying for his stay here. I don’t think he knows Magnus is out either. I don’t think Magnus told anyone.”

“But why would he do this?” Catarina’s voice was shaking with worry, though her eyes were asking another question. How could you let him do this?

Alec swallowed hard. “He felt like he had enough. We can’t force anyone to stay here if they don’t want to and aren’t a danger to society.”

“Magnus was safe here!” Ragnor roared. “And he wanted to stay so something had to have happened. What happened?”

“Alec!” Jace’s voice sounded like a thunder, but it did nothing to put Alec at ease like it usually did. Of course everything had to happen on the one Friday his siblings had decided to stay in. “Everything okay?”

“It’s fine,” Alec said drily. “Jace, I need you to take over closing the finances. Or ask Izzy. I have some place to go.”

Jace frowned, but not as much as Ragnor and Catarina did. “What?” The three of them asked in unison. 

Alec looked back at all of them. “I’m going to make sure Magnus is okay.”

\---

Magnus watched the world spinning around him from his couch. He wasn’t sure what time it was or even the day of the week. All he knew it was that if he moved his right foot a little, he would end up kicking a half empty bottle. And he did so.

“Dearest, what are you doing?” Camille’s voice sounded from somewhere on his left. Or right. Maybe it was from behind, Magnus was feeling a little dizzy.

It was from the front, because Camille was squatting in front of him in order to look him in the eye. She was smiling, so Magnus smiled too. “There you are,” Camille said in her silky voice. “Would you like some dinner, my dear? I thought we could go out to somewhere nice tonight.”

Magnus shook his head, but he immediately regretted when everything twirled around him. “I don’t feel so good.”

Camille shushed him by laying a finger on his lips. “Say no more, my love. I’m going to get us something. Can I use your credit card again? I left my purse at the bedroom and I’m wearing my new heels. Thanks again for them.”

New heels? Magnus didn’t remember buying her anything. Not that he remembered much anyway: everything since leaving the Institute seemed to blur together. There was a lot of liquor and Camille’s bloody red lips smiling. A lot of visits to the toilet and a nasty taste in his mouth too.

Magnus gestured at the direction of the bowl he usually left his wallet in. “Take it.”

“Thank you, darling. Always so generous.” Camille moved fast and Magnus could hear her heels clicking on the floor. It was making him sick. 

He tried to sit up but it only made everything worse. “No, no, Magnus.” Camille was suddenly at his side again, pushing him down gently. “You stay put. I’m going to get us some nice burgers and an Oreo cookie milkshake for us to share. You like that, don’t you?” She put something on his hand. “Eat this. It will make you feel better.”

Magnus stared at the cherry candy in his hand. It looked delicious and now that he thought about it, he was very hungry. It was so good that Camille was looking after him. Though Magnus didn’t remember asking her too. He should call Cat. Cat was a doctor, she’d know what to do about his pounding headache.

“I want… Cat.” Magnus asked for his friend. Was he stuttering? He sounded weird.

“Your cat is not here, darling,” Camille sounded tired. But she sounded so sweet earlier, it made no sense. 

Magnus whimpered. “Chairman,” he whispered and grabbed a pillow, hugging it tight. He was shivering. “I’m cold.”

Camille sighed. “You have a coat on, Magnus. Just take another drink, it will warm you up.” She handed him a golden bottle. “You finish this and I’ll be back with our food in no time. I just have to ran some errands on the way. My new dress is ready. You’ll love it.”

He had no idea what she was talking about and he frankly didn’t care. If he could find his phone, he’d call Ragnor. He couldn’t still be out of the country. Camille didn’t say the date he was coming back from his visit to England, but it’s been too long. 

Magnus shouldn’t have lent Camille his charger. His phone had been dead for days and all he wanted to do was calling one of his friends. Anyone. He had memorized Raphael’s number. He could call him.

He could call Alec. He wanted to call Alec.

“Okay, darling,” Camille said cheerfully. “I’m going now. Food will be here in any minute.”

Magnus tried focusing on her face, but he was sure Camille didn’t have three noses. “Food?” Before she could answer, there was a knock on the door. Magnus smiled. “Food!”

Camille frowned. “What is this?”

The knocking got louder, until it could only be described as someone trying to break the door down. Whoever it was, they really wanted to deliver that food.

“Magnus, I think we should move you back to the bedroom. You’ll be more comfortable there.” Camille was back to his side, pulling him up as she shoved his wallet into his hands. “You’ll be able to lay down and-“

The door finally yielded and a loud pang had Camille jumping on her feet while Magnus fell back onto the couch. There was someone shouting his name. No, someones. And their voices were familiar too.

His friends. Magnus looked up and he smiled when he saw Ragnor and Catarina running to him. Ragnor got to him first, but it were Catarina’s hands that started to touch him all over as soon as she could.

“Excuse me,” Camille yelled. “This is private property. You can’t just burst in here unannounced.”

“And what are you doing here?” Catarina roared, medical tests completely forgotten. She stood up and so did Ragnor, putting a physical barrier between Magnus and her. 

It was very dramatic and Magnus was about to point out that he was fine, but he lost his voice. There was one more person with them and he had just knelt and helped Magnus to steady himself as he sat.

“Hey,” Alec said quietly with a relieved smile lighting his whole face up. He brushed Magnus’ hair away from his face and gently pushed something into Magnus’ hand. It felt like a bottle, but this one was made of plastic. “It’s water,” Alec explained.

Magnus nodded and took a sip. As he did so, Alec covered him with his own coat and rubbed Magnus’ back and arms. Behind Alec, Catarina and Ragnor were arguing with Camille, but Magnus could barely hear them over the sound of Alec’s voice.

“You’re going to be okay, Magnus,” Alec kept saying. “We’re going to take care of you and you’ll be all right. Don’t worry.”

Sighing, Magnus searched for Alec’s hand and held it tight. He leaned forward, resting his forehead on Alec’s shoulder. “Alexander,” Magnus whispered against Alec’s chest. “Help me. Please.”

Alec nodded fiercely and hugged him tight. “I will. You’re gonna be okay, Magnus. I promise you’re gonna be just fine.”

“Thank you,” Magnus said weakly, but he meant it with all his will.

“Just take another sip.” Alec let go of him gently, but stayed close enough for Magnus to still feel his warmth. “Easy, don’t rush. Take your time.”

Magnus smiled at him and he was about to make a joke, but the sound of a hard hit drew both his and Alec’s attention. The quarrel had stopped when Catarina slapped Camille across the face. Ragnor stared at his friend with wide eyes, but Cat wasn’t done yet.

“You slithering snake,” she hissed. “Showing up when Magnus was at his lowest point to take advantage of him. To keep him away from the people who truly care for him and under your control. How dare you? How dare you talk like you own the place? Like you own him? You get out of his life before we have your fake ass thrown into prison. Get out!” 

Camille had one hand on the growing red spot on her face, but her expression was no less vicious. “If I stay or go is not up to you. It’s up to Magnus.”

Ragnor huffed. “He’s clearly not able to give his consent to anything right now.”

“So I guess I’m staying.” Camille cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms. “Neither of you have the authority to kick me out from his house. Unless you’d want to physically remove me, Doctor Loss. I can overlook one slap as an act of passion. You are all clearly worried since Magnus didn’t want any of you knowing he was back, but touch me again and I will sue you.”

Magnus had enough. He leaned on Alec, grabbing his hand to draw the strength he needed to stand up and face Camille. “Leave.”

He had the pleasure to watch Camille’s confident smile die on her lips. Something in her bewildered expression made Magnus feel triumphant, especially when he looked back at Alec and realized his hazel eyes had never left Magnus’ face. It was like Alec’s whole world was Magnus and Magnus alone.

It was nice.

Camille lift up her chin and tried to gather the rest of her dignity but by then both Ragnor and Catarina had turned their attention back to Magnus. Ragnor still kept his attention split right until Camille finished gathering her things and left, but other than that, he stayed with Catarina as she ran some exams on Magnus.

Despite his confused state and the very sharp instructions Catarina wanted him to follow, Magnus couldn’t help to keep eyeing Alec. He had left him under his friends’ care and was now walking around the apartment, picking up empty bottles and discarded clothes. By the time Cat was done with Magnus, Alec had turned the loft from a dumpster to a home again.

And he was back to Magnus’ side as soon as Cat announced that Magnus would be okay in a couple of hours. Ragnor decided to cook them a meal and Cat quickly volunteered to run to the store and get the ingredients that were lacking. Considering Magnus barely had anything to eat in the house, that trip would take some time.

“I’m still cold,” Magnus said to Alec when they were the only ones left at the living room.

Alec didn’t hesitate and hugged him. “Keep drinking the water. You need to hydrate and rest. Close your eyes for a minute, I’ll make sure you don’t fall over.”

Magnus nodded and did as instructed, leaning his head on Alec’s chest. “I like this. Maybe I’ll keep you as my pillow.”

“Right,” Alec said and his voice sounded like a smile. “Rest and then we can talk about what your options are, ok?”

“Is one of my options to stay like this forever? I want that one.”

Alec brushed Magnus’ hair from his face again, with the same gentle touch from before. “Rest, Magnus. I’ll wake you up when the food is ready.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. Magnus fell asleep almost immediately and even if he only slept for twenty minutes until the smell of the food woke him up, it was the best rest he had in weeks. Alec was still stroking his hair when Magnus opened his eyes and the cold was gone, taking the dizziness with it.

Magnus may or may not have stayed quiet, enjoying the touch for a couple more seconds than necessarily. Nobody would ever know.

“Here, my friend,” Ragnor’s voice called him. “I’ve made chicken and leek pie. I even desecrated the thing by putting too much spice in it.” He turned to Alec, who was helping Magnus sit. “It’s his favorite English comfort food.”

“Everything you cook is my favorite English comfort food,” Magnus said quietly and accepted the fork Ragnor was offering him. The first bite melted in his mouth and Magnus whimpered. He wasn’t sure about the last time he had enjoyed a meal. Camille had given him food, but it all tasted the same.

Alec stroked Magnus’ back as he ate. “Smells delicious.”

Magnus offered him a bite. “Do you want some, Alexander? I’m sure Ragnor has his belly full, he’s a very gluttonous cooker. For every portion he cooks, two more were eaten in the process.”

“I’m okay.” Alec snorted and shook his head. “I’m glad your humor is intact.”

“One thing I’ll never lose,” Magnus said with a wink. At every bite, the world seemed to get steadier around him and he felt a little stronger. He didn’t want Alec to stop caressing him, though. 

Cat sat on the armchair, enjoying a piece of pie herself. Just like Magnus, she didn’t mind a little spice in her food. “After you finish eating, you should get out of these clothes and take a shower. No offense, darling, but you stink.”

Magnus arched his eyebrows at her but then turned to Alec. “Does anyone volunteer to help a poor sou-?”

“I’ll do it,” Cat cut him short. “I’ve been giving you cold showers since high school and I’m the only one here who remembers the right shampoo order.”

“Oh, yes. That’s important.” Magnus nibbled on the last piece of his pie. “I’m feeling much better now. Thank you guys for coming. I… I’m not sure what happened.”

“You left the Institute a month ago and apparently you didn’t tell anyone,” Alec explained in his professional voice. There was some sternness there too and flashes of their last conversation popped into Magnus’ mind. “This afternoon I was checking the payment receipts and I found out your father kept paying for your stay. Ragnor and Catarina went to the Institute to visit you and we decided to come and check on you when we realized none of us had any idea of what happened to you.”

Magnus nodded and he looked at his friends. They both shared a worried expression and there was no anger there to be seen. The fear that was crushing his heart relented a bit. He wanted to explain what had happened but with Alec there by his side, it was hard.

And just like he had read Magnus’ thoughts, Alec stood up. “Excuse me, I have to make a call,” he said sharply and nobody stopped him from going to the balcony and closing the glass door behind him. 

“He lied, you know?” Ragnor said once he made sure Alec was facing the New York skyline. “He was the one who decide to come and check on you. Not that we wouldn’t eventually do it ourselves, but Alec jumped right to it the second he realized something was wrong. He-”

“I kissed him,” Magnus said quickly, before Ragnor could say anything else. His heart was aching enough as it was. “Raphael left the Institute and I felt so lonely. I stopped eating and going to my therapy sessions, and then Alec came to check on me. We talked and I kissed him. Turns out he’s not married to Doctor Lydia. But he rejected me all the same, saying we couldn’t be together. Not while I was a patient. So I left.”

“Oh, Magnus.” Cat brought a hand to her mouth.

Magnus sighed. “I know. When I got here, I wanted to be left alone. I was going to call you guys eventually, but right then I just wanted to be forgotten by the world. But Camille showed up and she didn’t leave until you guys appeared. Thank you for that. I don’t know… I don’t know why I didn’t kick her out myself. I should’ve just-”

“No, Magnus.” Cat sat beside him and took his hands in hers, squeezing them. “It’s not about what you should’ve done. That’s in the past and all that matters is that you’re safe now.”

“But I’m not. I’m not safe because even if I’m sobering up, I still want to drink.” 

Magnus closed his eyes and swallowed hard. It was true. He wasn’t feeling as dizzy anymore, but it came with the downside of pain. Magnus was craving to numb it and the bottles hanging around were the best way he knew how to do it. “I have to go back to the Institute. I have to do things right this time.”

Ragnor leaned forward on the chair he was sitting on. “We can find another place, if you prefer. Somewhere with less attractive people.”

Magnus shook his head. “No. I like it there, with Doctor Izzy and Doctor Lydia and Biscuit. I’ll only have to see Alexander during dinner and that’s okay. It’ll be something to look forward to. I can keep my feelings in check.”

“But can he?” Ragnor closed his hands in front of his body. “You didn’t see Alec during our way here, Magnus. He drove his car like he was pro-racing. Maybe he rejected you, but it was only because you were technically his patient. The boy is in love, my friend. Who do you think brought down that door? It was rather impressive, actually. Like we were in a Terminator movie.”

Now that would be too cruel of a lie for Ragnor. Magnus loved him because of all his friends, Ragnor had always been the most sincere. He never sugarcoated things for Magnus, and he never lied either.

But still, Ragnor didn’t know Alec like Magnus did. He hadn’t seen the guilt in Alec’s eyes when Magnus told him to leave. He couldn’t know selfless Alec would do anything for his patients. And Magnus was his patient. Alec had said it himself.

“Come on.” Cat squeezed his hands again. “Let’s get you all cleaned up and pampered. Ragnor and Alec can pack up your things.”

She dragged Magnus to the master bathroom before either him or Ragnor could protest. Catarina was right, it wasn’t the first time she helped him bathe. It happened more than a couple of times, though the very first one was when they were still in high school and Magnus accidently knocked an entire can of paint on his head while they were making the ball’s welcoming sign. 

Magnus had been in a particularly bad day after having fought with his father before going to school and having green paint all over his body was his breaking point. He used to break really easily back then.

But Cat, his rock, had helped him find his way to the boy’s locker room and had sent the entire football team away just so she could help Magnus wash his hair. They talked the entire time and he cried, but having Cat there meant the world to Magnus.

And it still did now, two decades later. Magnus sat on the shower’s floor while Cat moved her fingers through his hair and told him a tale about her days at the hospital. Listening about other people’s problems and trying to give Cat some advice on how to deal with her difficult patients did Magnus some good. Focusing on helping others always made him feel better about himself.

When all the stink had been washed away, Magnus was feeling definitely better. And more sober. He wrapped himself up in a fluffy robe and let Cat style his hair to her pleasure. She had the best taste among all of Magnus’ friends – well, with the new addition of Raphael to that list, she had some competition -, so he wasn’t worried. Cat even trimmed his hair a little.

“Do you like it?” She asked once she was done, leaning her chin on Magnus’ shoulder. 

She had to stand on her tiptoes in order to do so, so Magnus turned to Cat after checking himself in the mirror. “This is the best I’ve looked in years.”

Cat smiled affectionately and nodded. “Yes, it is.”

They found Ragnor and Alec finishing packing Magnus’ stuff in his room. It was a little awkward to be dressed in a robe with Alec standing in his room, but considering that he probably had seen Magnus’ underwear that was just silly. 

Alec did excuse himself when Magnus started to dress, though, and that was adorable of him.

When Magnus was ready, his friends and him met Alec at the living room. Magnus couldn’t help but notice the used plates had vanished and the apartment seemed even tidier than Alec had left it when he first went around cleaning things up.

“So,” Alec said quietly, looking at Magnus’ luggage, “you’ve decided to come back.”

Magnus smiled and nodded with one sharp movement. “I have. Will you take me back?”

Alec nodded too, mimicking him. “I will.”

Smiling a little more, Magnus turned to his friends. Strangely, this time he meant it. Magnus was sad to leave them again, but now he could see the love in their eyes as they told him their good-byes and that sadness turned into fondness. 

Magnus blinked. “Hm… Can we… Can we make a quick stop on the way?” He looked at Alec, who was frowning, and then back to Cat. “I want to see the Chairman.”

“Sure,” Alec answered immediately and then he realized it was up to Catarina, since she was the one housing the cat. 

Catarina smiled and there were tears in her eyes. “Of course, darling.”

\---

During the admission process, Magnus thought of two things. First, he thought of the feeling of holding the Chairman in his arms. How his fluffy fur felt against his skin, how the Chairman wiggled in his arms and nudged his nose against his cheek. Magnus thought of the way the Chairman had meowed when he saw him crossing the door at Cat’s apartment and how he had leaped to Magnus’ embrace. How it felt like home to have him in his arms again.

Second, Magnus thought of his trip to the Institute with Alec. They had stayed quiet for the greater part of the ride, just enjoying the music playing on the radio and each other’s company. It’d started raining at some point and Alec had had to slow down, but it’d only made for a more pleasant time. 

When they’d arrived, Alec had driven straight to the dormitories. He’d stopped the closest he could to room number 16 and parked the car. Magnus had turned to grab his things, but before he could thank Alec for the ride, Alec had cleared his throat. 

“I… Magnus, I think we should talk. Before you check in, I want to make sure you want to be here. A-as in, the Institute. Where I am.” He’d been looking straight forward, at the heavy drops banging on the car’s window. “I don’t want to… I don’t want to jeopardize your treatment in any way.”

Magnus had smiled to himself. The determination on Alec’s warm eyes had been like fire and Magnus could’ve seen how tense his muscles had been through the fabric of his shirt and the whiteness on his knuckles as Alec had been gripping the wheel a bit too firmly.

He’d touched Alec’s right hand and it had immediately relaxed. “Alexander, darling, as much as I enjoy your company, I didn’t chose to come back because of you.” Magnus had looked across the car’s windows and into the heavy rain. “I’ve realized that I quite like this place. I like it a lot. I won’t lie and say my feelings for you, whatever they are, are gone. They are not. And I would very much like to kiss you again.” He’d stopped when Alec inhaled sharply. That had not gone unnoticed and it gave Magnus butterflies in his stomach. Was Ragnor right? 

No. Focus. “However,” Magnus had continued, “I want to get better before I’m given a chance to find happiness with someone. Does that make sense?”

Alec had nodded slowly, still not looking at him. “A lot of sense.”

“Thank you.” Magnus had smiled quietly. He must have been feeling especially adventurous, because he had laced his fingers with Alec’s. To his surprise, Alec had not only let him, but he’d held his hand back. “It’s weird… I’m scared, even if I’ve been through all of this before. I wish Raphael was here.”

“Hm…” Alec had finally looked at him at this point and he’d had a sheepish smile on his lips. “How about you keep your phone for tonight? You can call him and your friends. One last night of freedom before the treatment starts.”

Magnus had frowned a bit. “So, what you’re saying is that I’m not your patient yet?”

“I… Guess?” Alec blinked, uncertain. “Why?”

That was all that Magnus had needed. “I just wanted to make sure before I did this,” he had said and leaned forward, pressing his mouth against Alec’s.

It was a quick thing, not long enough to make an impression, but the way Magnus’ whole body shivered with the contact said otherwise. And so did the bright smile on Alec’s lips when they parted ways. 

It had made Magnus smile right back. But before Alec could say anything, and he was about to, judging by the growing frown and the spark of guilt in his hazel eyes, Magnus laid a single finger over his lips and smiled again. “I’m leaving now. Good night, Alexander.”

Alec inhaled sharply and seemed to be waging a war inside himself until he finally just sighed. “Good night, Magnus.”

And that memory alone made all the piercing and needling bearable. Doctor Izzy also tried to make the whole experience better, but she had a sly smile on her lips the entire time that wouldn’t disappear. When the results arrived and Magnus was starting to feel the first signs of his body eliminating the alcohol toxins. 

“Okay, darling,” he eventually sighed as the doctor was going through his results. “I’m just a little behind from what I was when I left here. I got it. What’s so funny?”

Isabelle allowed herself a full smile. “I’m just glad you’re back. I was very worried, Magnus. You have no idea.” She held his hand and Magnus could see tears forming in her beautiful eyes. “We can’t keep the patients here, if they want to leave. It doesn’t matter how much we care, how much we want them to get better. There’s nothing we can do when they say they want out. And every once in a while, one of those patients who go away break my heart in the process.”

Magnus squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry, darling.”

“Don’t be.” Isabelle smiled and wiped away the tears. “I was so sad when you left, because I was afraid everything was going to go to waste. All your progress. But now you’re back and… Magnus, you look healthier now, with dark circles under your eyes and pale like poor Clary, than you did when you asked me to discharge you.” 

“I don’t feel very healthy right now.” Magnus rolled his eyes, but he did nothing to hide the smile on his lips. Despite his increasing headache and the slight dizziness, Magnus felt warm inside. 

Isabelle arched an eyebrow at him, but she hadn’t stop smiling yet. “That’s because you’re not. Don’t make any mistakes, the next couple of days will be hell. But you’ve been through worse and still came out with style. Time to put on another show.”

Magnus smirked and he hoped he didn’t look as tired as he was feeling. “My specialty.”

“Come on.” Isabelle snorted and helped him get up as she gestured for a nurse to bring a wheelchair. “Let’s get you to bed.”

She chuckled when Magnus threw her a suggestive look, but otherwise Isabelle managed to get him comfortably seated. She kissed Magnus on the cheek before the nurse rolled him away.

Maybe it was the delusions of the detox process kicking in, but before he had crossed the door, Magnus could’ve sworn he’d heard Doctor Izzy telling the nurse to be extra careful with him, or she would have to answer to a very angry Alec. 

Once he was comfortably laying down on his bed, Magnus closed his eyes. He recognized everything that was happening to his body, the tremors and the cold and the pain. It didn’t make it easier to bear and he more than ever he missed Raphael. 

Spending almost an hour with him on the phone wasn’t the same as having him right there, sitting at the foot of his bed and barking orders to the nurse on how to make Magnus feel better.

A violent shiver ran down his body and Magnus whimpered. If Raphael was there, he’d talked to Magnus. He’d calm him down. He’d press the red button.

Don’t forget, if you feel anything, press the red button, Biscuit had said on his first visit.

Magnus threw his arm up and pressed the damn thing with all his strength. In no time, a nurse was on his side, administrating a painkiller and soothing Magnus with kind words. She fluffed his pillow and added a couple more, covering Magnus with a blanket when he complained of the cold.

It wasn’t the same as having Raphael there, but it was nice not to feel alone.

This time the worst part was over in two days. Doctor Izzy came to see him in his room before clearing him out to join the other patients in their daily activities. Clary had come with her and she had a gift for him: a drawing of ones of the pictures she took of him during one of their classes together.

“You looked so happy,” Clary explained while Magnus was finishing cuffing his shirt. He knew for a fact Ragnor had been the one responsible for choosing the garments, because Alec was definitely tasked with folding everything. Magnus had never had such a meticulously organized luggage.

He smiled at her. “I was. I’ve always wanted to learn how to sew.” Magnus looked back at the picture. “I love it, Biscuit. Your artwork should be hanged besides the great masters. Michelangelo sure would have a salty shade to throw around, that petty bitch.”

Clary chuckled and her nose scrunched adorably as she threw her arms around Magnus. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispered and quickly let him go.

“Come on, guys,” Isabelle finished a retouch of her makeup. “I’m starving and tonight is pizza night, followed by a special date with the husband.”

Magnus smiled “How is Sherman? I haven’t seen him yet.” He checked himself in the mirror and smirked approvingly. He was rocking that darker look and the stubble.

“Simon is great.” Isabelle smirked and laid both hands on her hips. Magnus barely had time to realize she had a shit-eating grin on her lips before she started talking again. “It’s nice to see you remember who is married to whom. You know, Simon and I. Jace and Clary. Lydia and John. Alec and work. It can be very confusing, I heard.”

Magnus, being an adult in full control of his actions and at the peak of his maturity, flipped her off. “It is so endearing that you and your brother have such transparent relationship. Do you guys talk about boys frequently?”

Clary had been looking between them with a puzzled expression, but Isabelle just shrugged. “I wish. Lydia was the one who found out, but I think Jace knows as well. I know because I know everything.”

“That is why your hair is so big.” Magnus frowned. “And lustrous. New shampoo?”

“Genetics.” Isabelle chuckled at Clary’s still very confused face. “Magnus thought Alec and Lydia were married.”

Clary blinked, absorbing the words slowly. “Oh,” she said quietly. “That’s not an unusual assumption, but it always freaks me out.” Clary shuttered. “So weird.”

“And thankfully just a misunderstanding from my part.” Magnus turned on his heels. “Shall we, ladies?”

When the three of them arrived at the cafeteria, Magnus felt his heart skip a beat for a second. Despite having Isabelle and Clary by his side, being there without Raphael felt wrong. He wasn’t sure where to sit or who to talk to.

But then a very smiling Alec spotted them and basically ran to where Magnus was standing. Considering he had legs the size of a small building, ‘ran’ wasn’t exactly the most adequate word. Magnus liked to think Alec powered walked in his general direction.

And he definitely liked the bright grin on Alec’s face. “Alexander, looking dashing as always in your accessible attire. Is that plain black shirt new or do you have one for every day of the week like in cartoons?”

Alec rolled his eyes and didn’t even try to look annoyed, so it only half-worked. “Good to have you back among the living.”

“Good to be back.” Magnus smiled, but he didn’t have time to say anything else before Alec was joined by Lydia and Jace, who he had been talking to. “Doctor Lydia, Jace,” Magnus greeted them.

“It’s nice to see you again, Magnus.” Lydia smiled politely, but there was a sparkle of honesty in her eyes that filled Magnus with happiness.

He didn’t give himself time to think and went in for a hug. If it caught Lydia off guard, she quickly recovered and hugged him back, tight. “I look forward to resuming our sessions,” Magnus told her once they let go of each other.

Lydia smiled brightly, quitting the professional act for just a couple of seconds. “So do I.”

Jace, who had an unreadable expression on his face, just nodded at Magnus’ direction as acknowledgement, but Magnus didn’t have time to make anything of it because a familiar grumpy voice cleared his throat behind him.

“No way,” Magnus exclaimed, but when he turned, there Raphael stood. “You’re here! I should’ve guessed, considering the children had stopped laughing.”

Raphael rolled his eyes and ignored Simon giggling behind him. “There are no children in the Institute. You really don’t know anything about this place.” He huffed and crossed his arms against his chest. “Before you get all emotional, I’m not here to see you.” Raphael gestured to both Simon and Isabelle with his head. “We have a date. Now, find a table for us. You’ve been given enough especial treatment for it to go over your head as it is. No sitting on the administration’s table.”

Magnus pouted, but relented when Raphael groaned and dragged him away from the Lightwoods. He was too happy to complain for being manhandled. “Did you miss me?”

“Not enough to see you back here.” Raphael narrowed his eyes at him. “But I guess it’s better here than passed out in some disgusting gutter.”

“I’m going to do it right this time, darling. I promise you I-”

Raphael stopped him with a glare. “You don’t have to promise me, I know you can do this. Promise yourself. And don’t think I’ll keep coming for you outside visiting hours. I won’t. This is an exception.”

“Oh,” Magnus wiggled his eyebrows at him. “I thought you’d come for Izzy’s and Simon’s company, not mine.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I can see them whenever I want.” Raphael sighed and looked at the Lightwoods table. Jace was telling a story and having everyone laugh, but before he could deliver the punch line, Alec looked back at them and smiled.

Magnus smiled back and waved, to Raphael’s dismay. He rolled his eyes dramatically. “I can’t believe you thought he was married and to a girl. That’s so stupid.”

“That’s your fault,” Magnus gasped in offense. “You were the one who referred to Simon, Clary and Lydia as the Lightwood’s spouses. Do the math. And quit making fun of me, Isabelle beat you to that.”

Raphael shrugged. “Not really. We’ve been laughing at you about that for weeks.” He shook his head. “So stupid.”

Magnus pouted, but he wasn’t really mad. It was still a little overwhelming, to be back and to see everyone so happy just for knowing he was all right, but it also felt good. He had been so lost, for so long, that he had forgotten what it was to be loved. He had Ragnor and Cat, but their love was unconditional and precious, something so rare, Magnus thought he would never find it anywhere else.

But there they were, a whole new bunch of people who cared for him, regardless of anything he did. In fact, he had kept hurting and deceiving those people, but their love never wavered. Never failed. 

And now, Magnus realized quietly, almost like an afterthought, it was time for him to prove their faith in him was not in vain. It was time that he learned to love himself just like they did. Because that was the only way that he’d be worthy of them. The only way he could become the person they all wanted him to be. 

The only way for him to become himself again.

\---

As it turned out, the path to self-love was freakishly long. And hard. And it involved a whole lot of talking. As much as Magnus enjoyed talking about himself, spending eight hours a week doing just that was a little bit too much even for him. 

Thankfully, Doctor Lydia alternated their ‘intimate sessions’ - as Magnus referred to them - with allowing him to talk about other people. Magnus was free to pick whoever they would be discussing at every time and he had no shortage of options. At the beginning, he kept those talks mostly about his friends, but this time he didn’t hold anything back. It took a while, but eventually Magnus was able to open up even about how lonely he felt when he watched Ragnor and Cat leave him at the Institute for the first time. 

Doctor Lydia would always have a glass of fresh water, tissues, and a kind expression for whenever Magnus needed a break, but it were her pointed questions and the sound of her pen rasping on paper that grounded him enough to keep going.

It also helped that Magnus went immediately back to exercising. Physical exam with Jace was never a fun ride, though. As handsome as he was, Magnus had no pleasure in stripping down to his underwear and let Jace measure and weight him, especially since he kept a scowl on his face for the entire process.

“You’re cleared to all gym exercises, just start slow,” Jace said again, barely looking at Magnus.

Now, they had never been the best of friends, but there wasn’t that much animosity between them before. Magnus arched an eyebrow. There were a few ways to ease Jace into talking to him and find out what exactly was his problem.

Magnus ignored them all. “What is your problem with me?”

Jace lifted his head and his yes had a fierce intensity to them. “You don’t want to know.”

“Actually, I just asked, so obviously I do.” Magnus crossed his arms. “I’m not leaving this office until we’ve settled things between us.”

“Then you’d better get used to the furniture, because I don’t have anything to say to you.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes at Jace. He was obvious hostile, but there was something more to his anger. Jace and him had never been close or even exchanged more than a couple of words, but Magnus had heard a lot about him through Clary and Alec. And both of them always said the same thing.

Jace was very protective of those he loved. 

“Does this have anything to do with your siblings?” Magnus asked carefully.

He was pretty sure he had crossed a line or two. Magnus wouldn’t be surprised if Jace threw him out of the building. He wouldn’t even blame him.

But just as all of the Lightwoods, Jace was unpredictable. He sighed and his eyes softened just slightly. “Look, if you want to go away and get yourself killed, that’s your problem. Just think about all the people that you’d hurt first. And not just your friends, the people in here too.”

Magnus blinked. He was not expecting that. “Careful, darling. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you cared.”

“And I would deny it.” Jace ran his fingers through his hair. “I still have your workout routine here somewhere, if you want to pick up where you left.”

“Actually.” Magnus cocked his head to the side. If he was stuck in the gym without Raphael’s elaborate complains, he was going to make do with Jace. It was almost the same thing, only whiter. And straighter. “I’ve been thinking… Do you guys have any martial art class?”

From all the Lightwoods siblings, Jace was by far the most emotional driven. One could see it in his eyes; the way they went from lethal to excited within just a couple of minutes. “Now this is the excuse I needed to kick your ass.”

For a second, Magnus considered inviting Jace to try, but then he thought it through. “All right, Johnny Lawrence. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

Jace grinned and Magnus wasn’t sure he liked how gleeful his boyish features looked. “I will.”

So, yes, getting his ass kicked in the mornings and then going in for second mental beating in the afternoon was basically Magnus’ life in the Institute. Worst part was that it was actually making him feel better each passing day.

During his second week and first melt down, however, Magnus finally felt like there was no more delaying it. He took extra care while doing his makeup routine in the morning and changed his workout schedule in order to spend more time with Clary and talk about silly things during Art Class. 

In the afternoon, Magnus told Lydia about his father. Not the detached, professional speech of what he usually did when he was asked about Asmodeus, but the real thing. 

For the first time in years, Magnus let himself say aloud what he had always kept inside. It was a mess of rage and loss, a torrent of words who were kept away from the light for long enough to become darkness. He told Lydia everything, from his first memories of the abuse his father had put him and his mother through, at a time he still didn’t understand it, to when Magnus realized his father wasn’t just the successful front man of Edom Enterprises, but a sadistic monster who would stop at nothing to full his pockets. A Prince of Hell walking free on the surface of Earth.

Even as he talked, Magnus felt guilty. He knew of his father’s crimes for over a decade, all the shady business negotiations, the bribes, the blackmails. Magnus knew his father got most of his money from hurting others or allowing it to happen. And he never told anyone.

Instead, Magnus preferred to close his eyes and drink. If he couldn’t remember it, then it wasn’t true. Then, he wasn’t the son of a monster. He wouldn’t be condoning his father’s action by omission.

If it wasn’t true, then Magnus wasn’t a monster himself.

It didn’t stop at that. It still pained him to admit it, but there was a time in which Magnus blamed his mother for it all. How could she have loved a man like Asmodeus? How could she be with him? It took him years to understand it wasn’t her fault and when he did, the hollowness of her loss struck him hard.

That day they went way over the usual two hours a session took but, by the end of it, Magnus felt lighter than he had in years. He was quite sure he didn’t make a lot of sense in there, but Doctor Lydia didn’t seem to mind. 

They worked on Magnus’ resentment for his father on the next couple of sessions and it didn’t get easier exactly, but it got bearable. They dug through Magnus’ childhood and adolescence, back to when his mother was still alive and he felt loved. Back to when he still admired his father and wanted to be just like him when he grew up.

So a long, long time ago.

To make it up for those heavy themed sessions, Magnus made Lydia suffer through him babbling about ex-lovers from time to time. She soon became a specialist on the fields of Axel von Fersen, Imasu Morales and the lovely Etta. Lydia even listened for an hour about Magnus’ sexy adventures with Woolsey Scott, all bites and positions included.

Of course, Doctor Lydia was too smart to let herself be distracted by that. She managed to dig out Camille from the ashes of Magnus’ depravities and soon gossiping became therapy again. She was no fun.

To say Week 3 started with Magnus feeling exhausted was an understatement. He took comfort from the fact that he was now able to knock Jace down on his perfectly shaped ass. It was no fun to be there without Raphael, but watching Jace’s surprised face when Magnus wiped the floor with his face for the first time was very satisfying. That and casually meeting up with Alec when he hit the gym. 

Not that Magnus had scheduled his workout sessions according Alec’s. No way. Nobody could prove that.

Just like nobody could prove that he had been pretending to sort out weights for the better part of the last ten minutes and not just waiting for Alec to finish doing his pull-ups. And if they could, well, Magnus was a lawyer. He could defend himself.

Another time, though, because now there were 6’2 feet of sweat and muscles passing by, so he was otherwise preoccupied. 

“Alexander,” Magnus called as he stood up gracefully. Being sober had a few advantages: it’s been years since Magnus had been so in tune with gravity. “It’s nice to see you here, in this most coincidental encounter created absolutely by chance.”

Alec, who had been draining the water from a plastic bottle, chuckled lightly and poured the rest on his hair. Magnus was definitely not jealous of the drop that escaped under Alec’s shirt. “Yeah. What are the odds, right?”

“Going back to work so soon?” Magnus smiled and tapped the nonexistent watch on his wrist. “There’s still half an hour until you actually were supposed to wake up in order to get ready to work. If you lived in Manhattan.”

“Maybe I take a long time to get ready.” Alec shrugged and dried his face with a towel. “That’s why I live here in the Institute and wake up early.”

Magnus pouted, unimpressed. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing that. No, my theory is that you like teasing us, the poor patients.”

Alec frowned. “How so?”

“By showing off your ridiculously hot health.” Magnus smirked. “And by health, I mean body.”

“Clearly,” Alec snorted and shook his head. “I was going to shoot some arrows. Do you want to come with me?”

Magnus smirked mischievously. “I’d love to shoot stuff with you, darling. All kinds of stuff.”

Alec stared at him, unimpressed. “On second thought, I haven’t had a proper breakfast. Do you want coffee?”

For all that Magnus enjoyed a good drink, he had never acquired a taste for coffee. He used to like tea when he was younger, the one his mother brought from her visits to her home country. Magnus regretted never paying attention to her tells about Jakarta or never meeting his grandparents. Asmodeus had no interest in his wife’s heritage or in passing it on to their son and so the matter was only ever brought up in small ways his mother found to sneak into their lives. 

It was another thing his father had deprived him from, but Magnus was determined to set that right once he was discharged.

Right now, however, his dreams were coming true. “Alexander, darling,” Magnus smiled quietly. “Are you asking me on a coffee date?”

“Of course not, that would be unprofessional.” Alec smiled and it was such a small gesture, Magnus couldn’t help but feel happy for it. “Besides, I have my breakfast in the staff kitchen. That’s literally the least romantic place on Earth. Izzy cooks there.”

Magnus arched an eyebrow at him, tilting his head to the side. “Was that supposed to mean something to me?”

Shrugging, Alec shoved his towel and empty bottle into his bag. “My sister is not… Gastronomically gifted. You’ll get it once we get there.”

And he totally did. The staff kitchen was way less glamorous than the one where they prepared the patients’ food, or at least Magnus thought so. Raphael had a sweet tooth and occasionally had chocolate cravings and they would sneak up the kitchen to steal some, so he had a very educated opinion on the matter. 

For example, there weren’t as many burnt pans lying around. Magnus pointed at a few. “Courtesy of Doctor Izzy?”

Alec nodded and stopped in front of the coffee machine. As he explained on their way, since it was definitely not a coffee date, he didn’t have to change from his workout clothes. He did put on a new shirt though, and Magnus had no complaints about the way Alec’s loose shorts hanged on his ass. No complains at all. 

“How do you like your coffee?” Alec asked after a while.

“Hot and sweet, like my men.” Magnus didn’t even dignify an answer to Alec’s roll of eyes. He walked right into that one all by himself. “Is that cake edible?”

“Hm.” Alec looked at where Magnus was staring at. “Should be. I think Clary baked that one.”

Magnus smiled and cut a piece for each of them. “It’s like you guys are one big family, living together happily ever after.”

Alec snorted and carried the two cups of coffee to one of the empty tables. “It is not always happy times here, but I guess we make it work. Like in a marriage.”

It was probably the slight edge on Alec’s voice that gave it away, but the smug smirk on his lips as he sipped his coffee was a telling hint as well. Magnus gasped. “Alexander, are you going to hold that small mistake over me? Because I can think of ten other things I’d rather you held over me and one of them is yourself.”

“All the innuendos in the world won’t change the fact that you thought I was married.” Alec sneered and it was unfair that he looked so beautiful while laughing at Magnus’ expense. “Gross. Did you think Clary and Jace were siblings too?”

Magnus narrowed his eyes at him. “How was I supposed to know the matching golden chains were friendship bracelets? I assumed you were over the age of twelve.”

Alec was still laughing and it would be aggravating if it wasn’t so adorable. “You should’ve seen the look at your face when you found out. At the time it was very confusing, but now it’s just funny.”

“I’m glad I can provide you with entertainment.” Magnus shook his head, but smiled nonetheless and took a sip of his cup. “Urg. This coffee is amazing. What kind of magic is involved in making this place feel like perfection on Earth?”

“I take it you’re enjoying yourself this time around.” Alec leaned his chin on his hand. Magnus could see the expectation in his eyes, how much he wanted to ask for more than what he would get through a simple comment. 

But Alec held back and that meant the world. “I’m certainly spending more time in the Health Building with your not-wife, so you should be jealous.” Magnus winked at Alec as he took another sip. “And I’ve been making some other friends. There’s Elias. And Malcom, but he’s kind of shady. The lovely Jessamine. I mean, they are not Raphael, and I by that I mean that they are nice people, but it’s good to have some friends. I believe the technical term is ‘support network?’, Doctor Alexander?”

“Yes. Most people open up and start the healing process when they can identify and relate to other people who are going through the same things,” Alec said clinically. “Support is an important tool.”

Magnus hummed and finished his coffee. Aside from support, another thing that came from making friends with the patients was gossip. And there was one particular topic of speculation that Magnus was very interested in. “Why don’t you work as a psychiatrist, darling? I’m sure you and your siblings could’ve hired someone to run the Institute.”

The hazel in Alec’s eyes darkened and Magnus thought for a second that he had ruined their little moment together, but then it was gone as fast as it came. “Jace, Izzy and I… We created the Institute to help other people.” There was a particular shade to Alec’s voice that Magnus couldn’t identify, but it made him want to hold Alec’s hand. He didn’t, though. “Help them battle diseases, help them get better. We come from money and we thought… If we could help people to stop being a danger to themselves and others, then… Then less families would suffer. Like we did.”

Alec stopped speaking suddenly and inhaled sharply. This time, Magnus grabbed his hand and received a small thankful smile in return. “We had a little brother, Max. He was killed in a car accident.” Alec sighed. “The driver died too. He was drunk.”

Silently, Magnus waited for Alec to gather the strength to continue. “You see, we wanted to do this ourselves. We wanted to make sure no other little boys would be gone, if we had a say in it. My parents had groomed me to take over the family business, so I had some administration knowledge. Isabelle ditched her job at Alicante Hospital and studied to specialize in addiction. Jace quit his career as a football player and took over the activities center. We all wanted to give back what was given to us the best way we could and also… It was a way to cope.”

Magnus nodded quietly. “Is that why you don’t drink?”

“It is.” Alec looked at their hands linked together. “I used to, at Idris. I never liked it to begin with, but it made me feel free. You should’ve seen Lydia back then. It was scary, she’d outdrink anyone and she’s a tiny girl.”

“Those are the worst.” Magnus laughed and smiled fondly at Alec. “Lydia is your best friend, isn’t she?”

Alec smiled too and he seemed a little more cheerful. “Yeah, she’s the best. Lydia was there when I heard about Max. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have her with me.” He touched the golden chain around his neck with his free hand. “I hope your sessions with her are helping.”

“Do you guys really don’t talk about it?” Magnus arched an eyebrow in a dare, but his mind drifted on the fact that the gesture no longer bothered him. “My sessions, I mean.”

“No, never. We don’t discuss patients from the Institute among the two of us.” Alec cleared his throat. “And I think it would be especially unethical to discuss yours, considering…” He let the sentence trail off and finished his coffee.

Magnus frowned. “Considering?”

Alec just looked at their hands together.

“Oh.” Magnus blinked and did not fight the smile that took his lips. “That.”

There was a shy smile on Alec’s lips when he nodded. “That.”

Magnus chuckled to himself and finished his coffee. It tasted so good, Magnus wondered why he had never liked it before.

\---

Two weeks into the second month, Magnus was surprised with the news that he was allowed out of the Institute for a night. A few patients that were sufficiently advanced with their treatment were given a night out in the city, for a Broadway show and dinner. They would be accompanied by nurses at all times – and unfortunately Alec did not qualify as nurse, Magnus had asked - but it was supposed to be a fun experience.

After only being able to see Ragnor and Catarina every two weeks, Magnus was happy to be able to leave the complex. Raphael came a few more times, though, and he just had to glare at the nurses to be allowed inside. He always used the excuse of seeing Simon and Isabelle, but more often than not Raphael would spend the day with Magnus.

As amazing as the people of the Institute were, however, Magnus welcomed the night out with open arms. He wasn’t a musical aficionado, but Hamilton seemed like a nice way to spend the night. 

Doctor Lydia made a point of reinforcing to Magnus everything that could go wrong, in order to make sure he felt prepared to face temptation. She ended up overdoing it a bit, but Magnus barely minded being scolded by nanny to exhaustion. When he finally went to take a shower, Magnus was positive he was ready to take on the world.

If only he had a certain tall, handsome man to be at his side while he did it, that would be perfect.

He arrived at the meeting point one minute early and that was the first time in years Magnus had been early for anything. It was weird to wait for others, but it gave Magnus time to watch the others. Most of the patients were familiar faces, but it was only Elias that Magnus had grown closer too. 

Well, someone just got a ticket for bestie for a night.

Broadway never disappointed and Hamilton was the epitome of everything the theater represented: sophisticate, forward-thinking storytelling that was as entertaining as it was daring. Magnus had an amazing time and Elias turned out to be a very enjoyable company when he wasn’t fretting over nothing. It was like the guy was expecting a bomb to explode every time someone called his name.

Naturally, Magnus made a game out of it. Whenever his friend seemed to have relaxed a bit, Magnus would do something to keep him on his toes. The best one yet had been during the time-out, when Magnus managed to scare Elias so badly, he actually screamed inside the theater.

It took Magnus an entire minute to stop laughing, but when he did, he patted on his friend’s back. “Oh, stop frowning,” Magnus said as he smiled innocently. “I’m just helping you relax a bit. We’re having fun, right? I saw you laughing during the first act. Watch out for those crow feet.”

“I guess I’m just a little on edge.” Elias smiled a bit, apologetically. “I’ve been waiting for tonight for weeks. I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

“It won’t,” Magnus assured him with a sharp nod. “We’re going to finish the play and then have a lovely dinner in one of New York’s finest restaurants. And then it’s back to bed before our curfew, like the good boys that we are.”

Elias nodded. “Thank you.”

Magnus shrugged, a mischievous smile on his lips. “To quote popular culture ‘we are all in this together’. Now, to the important stuff; ten bucks say I can get one of the nurses to buy us both some popcorn before the next act begins.”

“I will take that action.”

By the end of the play, Magnus was full with popcorn but he had a personal rule never to dismiss good food. The restaurant of the night was a beautiful place specialized in sea food. Everyone was given a menu to choose from and Magnus noticed the options of beverages varied from water to a selection of exotic juices. 

He wanted to snap a picture and send it to Alec, but instead Magnus just ordered the passion fruit juice. It felt somewhat the same. 

Unsurprisingly, the food was marvelous. The conversation could somewhat step it up, but Magnus was having fun in watching most of the people struggle to find topics of conversation. Well, it was his time to shine, then.

With a couple of spicy comments strategically placed, Magnus turned into the center of attention. The host. He made people laugh and found common ground to discuss. He told his own stories, mixing half-truths with clever lies. He throve with attention and turned the dinner into an event.

Finally, when everyone was talking and smiling, Magnus allowed himself to relax. The night was a huge success and he had contributed in great part to it. 

And not a drop of alcohol was needed.

Elias smiled when the dessert was being served. “Hey, Magnus,” he said as Magnus was watching the conversations developing around the table, “I’m going to the restroom. Care to join me?”

Frowning, Magnus chuckled a bit. “Are we teenage girls? Do you want me to hold your hand in there?”

“Come on, man.” Elias smiled and he seemed relaxed for the first time in the whole evening, so Magnus smiled back. “Give it three second and then follow me.”

He didn’t give time for Magnus to question him further and simple walked to the back of the restaurant. Magnus arched an eyebrow, but followed when he knew nobody would notice his absence too much.

“Elias,” Magnus called, opening the men’s restroom door. “What naughtiness are you-?”

Magnus stopped mid-sentence, words escaping him. Elias was there all right, and so was Jessamine. Between them, there was a handsome stranger with an ethereal quality to him and a ridiculous leaf tattoo on his face. None of that was what rendered Magnus speechless, though.

At fault was entirely what they were doing. Jessamine’s porcelain skin wasn’t fair enough to hide the white powder on her nostrils. Elias had a small plastic bag with pills in it. But the stranger, he had an open box in his hands full of other things. And some of those were tiny bottles of all of Magnus’ favorite brands.

“Finally!” Elias exclaimed, much too loud and with a glassy quality to his eyes. “Now we can start this party.”

“I believe you are the famous Magnus Bane,” the stranger said with a silky voice.

Magnus tilted his chin. “And I believe I’ve never heard of you.”

“They call me Meliorn.” He gestured to the content of the box. “First one is on the Seelie Court. Maybe a Bordeaux to start the night?”

“The Seelie Court?” Magnus inhaled sharply, but smile nonetheless. He stopped beside Elias and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Oh my, we are well connected.”

During his years as a guest in New York’s most popular and nastiest clubs, Magnus had encounter members of the Seelie Court time and again. He had never taken an interest in anything they sold, so Magnus had kept his distance, but they always seemed to find him.

Considering Asmodeus was probably their biggest sponsor as far as cocaine sells went, it wasn’t hard to figure out why that was. It seemed like they had expanded business, though. Apparently, selling to spoiled rich kids wasn’t cutting it anymore.

There was one thing Magnus knew for a fact: it was not wise not to cross the Seelie Court. The gang was famous for taking care of those who messed up with their affairs very efficiently.

Magnus was often wise, but not that night. That night, he was watching the Institute’s work being hijacked by greedy opportunists who target vulnerable addicts still in rehab. He was watching Alec’s dreams and hope being crushed in front of his eyes.

Smiling, Magnus tapped on Elias’ shoulder. “Unfortunately, I came here to tell you guys the nurses have noticed your absence. Same goes for you, doll.” He winked at Jessamine. “You two go ahead, I’ll be there in a moment.”

Elias grinned and he seemed to be trying to wiggle his eyebrows at Magnus, although he was failing miserably. “See you in a bit, my friend.”

Jessamine giggled and accompanied him, but not before smacking Magnus’ cheek with a loud kiss. “Enjoy,” she purred. 

Meliorn watched them go with a pleasant smile on his thin lips. “Nice people, those two.”

“Yes, the best.” Magnus crossed his arms against his chest. “Not great many people know this about me, but I’m a lawyer. Licensed and all, top of my year. All that jazz.”

“Oh.” Meliorn had the courtesy to look impressed. “And here I thought you were only the heir of Edom Empire. I guess there are brains under all that beauty.” He started sorting the content of the box, putting the tiny bottles in front of the bags of colorful drugs. “Mr. Bane must be very proud. Our Queen has a great deal of admiration for him.”

“That is so kind of you to say.” Magnus stepped forward and kept walking, circling around Meliorn slowly. “But you know, law school was so dreadfully boring. No wonder I had to do some shots between classes. Something had to make it interesting. Can you guess my most hated discipline?”

Meliorn followed him with his eyes, not moving any other muscle. “I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

“Criminal law,” Magnus continued without missing a beat. “It is nothing like the movies. None of my professors ever murdered anyone. So impossibly dull.” Magnus shrugged and sighed in frustration. 

“It seems life does not imitate art, after all.” Meliorn commented as he closed the box.

Magnus chuckled. “No, it doesn’t. But anyway, it was a long time ago. And, as you can imagine, I’m not entirely familiar with it anymore – in fact, I never was – but I’m quite sure illegal possession of a controlled substance is a federal felony.” He stopped when he had gone all the way around Meliorn and was back into facing him. “What I am positive of, however, is that distributing and selling said substances is a crime. In fact, one could be facing charges on class B to D felonies here in the great state of New York.”

Meliorn finally lost the smile. “What are you saying?”

“Oh darling, I’m just showing off.” Magnus tilted his head to the side. “You have no idea how easy it would be to build a case against you. And I’d have witnesses, the restaurant’s cameras. Not to mention the scandal I would do and have the cops bust your little perky ass.”

“You’d be going after the Seelie Court. You might get me,” Meliorn was still the face of calmness as he spoke, “but you’ll never get to the Queen. She, however, would get to you.”

But Magnus was twice as calm. “Now, would she? Would the Queen try anything against Asmodeus’ precious son? I don’t think you understand the bigger picture here, my dear, so let me enlighten you. Do you think daddy will be happy when he finds out the Queen sent one of her fairies to interfere with his son’s treatment? A treatment he’s paying for himself? Which one of us do you think is the loose end here, darling? The heir of the Edom Empire or some silly little leaf who overstayed his welcome?”

Meliorn opened his mouth to speak, but Magnus shushed him with a flourish. “You will quit this little business enterprise and stay the hell away from people in rehab, the Institute’s patients specially. You do that, darling, and I might forget I ever saw your face here tonight. You do that and you just might escape the wrath of the Prince of Hell himself.”

From where he was standing, Magnus could see the wheels working inside of Meliorn’s mind. He knew he had overplayed his hand there, but there was a chance Meliorn wasn’t privy to Magnus’ relationship with his father. If he could make people believe Asmodeus cared enough about him to send him to rehab himself, then Magnus’ gamble could work.

But Meliorn smirked and Magnus felt less confident by the second. “Mr. Bane wouldn’t want to draw this kind of attention to himself. Especially not if it comes with the image of his drunkard of a son passed out on a bathroom floor after purchasing drugs in a field trip from his rehab center.”

“What? I didn’t buy anything.” Magnus frowned.

“No,” Meliorn said calmly. “But that is an easy enough picture to forge.”

Magnus barely had time to process the words before Meliorn was already on him. All the training with Jace kicked in with an explosion and Magnus was able to skirt from the elbow that was sure to find his temple. Next thing he knew, it was him throwing Meliorn through the door and into the restaurant.

To say they caused a scene was an understatement. Under five minutes, cops were bursting inside and keeping Meliorn from trying to escape. Magnus was still shaking with adrenaline, but he was able to answer all questions with some kind of sense. 

Having the nurses there helped. That wasn’t the first time Magnus found himself in the middle of an unexpected fight, but usually he’d have a shot afterwards to calm the nerves. This time all he had was the knowledge he had done the right thing.

“Magnus!” A voice called and Magnus realized that wasn’t exactly right. He had more than just that knowledge. 

For instance, he had a freaked out Alec running in his direction and completely ignoring the perimeter limits put up by the police. Alec was standing in front of Magnus in a matter of seconds, strong hands patting him everywhere as if to make sure he was all right. “Oh my God, Magnus, are you okay? Did you get hurt?!”

“I’m okay, Alexander,” Magnus said with a smile. “But please, keep on groping me.”

Alec sighed in completely relief and crushed Magnus into a bear hug. “I’m so proud of you. So fucking proud of you.” Magnus let himself be held, hugging Alec back with all his strength. He had never felt so safe in his life. “And worried. You fought a criminal.” Alec stepped aside, frowning. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

Magnus chuckled and nodded a few times. “Pretty sure. And I wouldn’t call Meliorn a criminal. That’s giving him too much credit.”

Huffing, Alec pushed him back into another hug. “They’ve arrested him. I can’t believe they were targeting-” His voice failed and Magnus could feel the anger rushing through Alec’s veins. “Cowards.”

“I don’t think they will try something like this again.” Magnus laid his head on Alec’s shoulder. “I think I’ve scared them off for good with my warrior abilities.”

Alec snorted and pressed a kiss into Magnus’ hair. “Thank you. And, please, never do that again. I was so worried when I heard that you… I don’t know what I’d have done if you had gotten hurt.”

Smiling, Magnus shook his head. He looked up, staring straight into Alec’s eyes. “Were you afraid I had succumbed to temptation?” 

“Yes,” Alec answered without hesitation. “I thought about it. And that you might had gotten hurt. Or that one of the other patients had taken something and tried to hurt you. I was afraid the police had gotten involved and arrested you or assaulted you somehow. I don’t know why, but I was sure someone was shot.”

Magnus sneered. “Someone is prone to overthinking, hm? I assure you, Alexander, I’m just fine.”

“I’m glad.” Alec sighed and smiled again, finally letting go. “I have to stay here and sort this out, but Izzy can give you a ride back to the Institute, if you want. Ragnor and Catarina probably wouldn’t mind a call from you.”

“I bet.” Magnus looked over and saw that Isabelle was a few feet away, instructing the nurses while Jace talked to the press. “Go and save the Institute’s reputation, darling. Use your boyish charms and easy-going charisma.”

Alec snorted. “I think you’re confusing me with my brother.”

“Or,” Magnus winked at him, “that’s me cryptically suggesting you let him deal with them and stay here with me.”

“I wish.” Alec squeezed Magnus’ shoulder, as if to make sure he was really fine one last time, when went to take control of the situation.

That night Magnus had been feeling too restless to sleep when he was finally in the safety of his room. The adrenaline from the events of the evening had lowered, but he was still fired up. Magnus wished Raphael was in the next room and they could just spend the night talking.

But he wasn’t, so Magnus focused on the good that had happened. That and the pills Doctor Lydia had prescribed him to fight his anxiety. It hasn’t settled in that Magnus had been so close to drinking again and he hadn’t. Not because there was anyone there to stop him, but because his mind didn’t go for the easy escape. He couldn’t close his eyes, swallow his morals and join the others in a numb place.

He didn’t. Instead, Magnus had used his worthless father for the greater good this time. Who knew one day he’d be using Asmodeus’ reputation to stop people from selling drugs? Life was full of ironies.

Closing his eyes, Magnus visualize Alec’s face and the pure relief on his features when he was sure Magnus was fine. He’d expected to be mad that Alec thought he could’ve relapsed, but Magnus wasn’t. Probably because Alec had equaled the chances of that happening to Magnus being shot in a weaponless fight.

Besides, something in the practical way Alec admitted it, like it was just another horrible but possible outcome of the night told Magnus Alec wouldn’t care if he had. He wouldn’t have given up on him, same as if he had been hurt in any other way.

“Urg,” Magnus groaned and covered himself, feeling the first signs of sleep showing themselves. “I should’ve kissed him.”

\---

Doctor Lydia lingered as she moved her pen through Magnus’ exams. After two months in the Institute, it was a resounding consensus that he was ready to be discharged and sent back into the real world, but the final word belonged to his psychiatrist. Magnus could be fit like an athlete, healthier than he had ever been and absolutely confident in his capacity to take care of himself, but only Lydia could give him the final green light.

And she was taking her sweet time to do it. 

Magnus tapped his foot, not bothering to hide how anxious he felt. After the incident with Meliorn, he had become somewhat the center of attentions in the Institute and Alec had to hire new security to keep the so-called journalists away. Good thing Clary’s step-father ran a highly praised security firm and could provide men power enough to keep the paparazzi far away. He had given Magnus his card and told him to call should anyone started bothering him once he was back home. That is, if Doctor Blue Eyes would be so kind.

“You know, all you really have to do is sign on the dotted line,” Magnus commented innocently. “Both of us know I can’t get any better than I am now.”

Lydia lifted her eyes from the paperwork, her face a mask of neutrality. “I still want you to see a therapist at least once a month and I’ll give you my personal number. I want you to call or text me any time you feel like you might be slipping up.” She sighed and laid both hands on her lap. “But I guess you’re right. By all exams and by my opinion as your doctor, you are officially discharged.” 

“You don’t have to look so gloom about it,” Magnus teased, almost incapable of sitting still. He knew for a fact the penny hadn’t dropped yet, so he decided to enjoy these few moments of blissful numbness before it did. “Of course I’ll come and visit. Besides the medical checkups, I mean.”

“You’d better come and visit us all,” Lydia said as she gave him his exams’ results. “I’ll be offended if I only ever see you as my patient. Well, besides the occasions where you’ll be with Alec, but those don’t count.”

Magnus tilted his head to the side, frowning slightly. “I’m sorry?”

“Oh, come on.” Lydia threw Magnus a disbelieving look. “You two have been into each other since the first day. Alec has been waiting for you to be discharged to be able to act on it for weeks. And you’ve said his name by mistake so many times, one would have to be deaf to consider it an incident. Magnus, you weren’t very discreet even when you thought Alec and I were married. It’s a good thing we’re past that delusional state.”

“When will everybody let that go?” Magnus huffed and then pointed to Lydia, accusingly. “You’ve never mentioned Alexander in our sessions before. Where is all of this coming from?”

But if Lydia was at all bothered by his rightful revolt, she just shrugged it away. “Your feelings for Alec and his feelings for you were not a part of your treatment. Besides, it was enough to hear him talking on and on about you. I’d need a raise to do the same for you.”

Shocked didn’t begin to cover how Magnus was feeling. “I’m not sure I like that version of you. Where’s my dedicated psychiatrist?”

Lydia just smiled. “You’re not my patient anymore, Magnus. Remember? You’re discharged.”

Magnus arched both eyebrows at her and nodded. “Should I expect a ‘hurt my best friend and I’ll kill you speech’ then?”

“I’ll leave that to Isabelle or Jace. They will enjoy that way more than I would.” Lydia stood up and inhaled deeply. “I do mean it, though. Don’t be a stranger. And find another psychiatrist. I can refer a few excellent ones to you, since I can’t do it if you and Alec do up end together. I wouldn’t be objective.”

“That’s a pity. Nobody will ever be half as good as you, my darling.” Magnus mimicked her, but went one up and hugged Lydia tight. “Thank you.”

Leaving the therapy office with his eyes full of tears wasn’t the best indicator of what had transpired, but Magnus only minded it when he was met with Ragnor’s and Catarina’s alarmed faces. They were waiting for him to get cleared, just so they could finally take Magnus home and obviously misread the situation.

“No, no, no!” Magnus shook his head and put on his best smile. “It went well! I’m officially discharged! It just got really emotional in there for a second.”

Ragnor arched an eyebrow at him, but seemed to decide not to make any comments. “So this is it? We get to take you home now?”

Magnus smiled, realizing that although he was happy, a part of him was sad to leave. “Right after I say good-bye to everyone.”

“This will take hours,” Ragnor complained, but he shushed under Catarina’s severe stare.

“We’ll be waiting at the car,” she told Magnus kindly. “You take your time.”

And Magnus did, though he wasn’t sure he’d be able to rush the process even if he wanted to. All the nurses designed to take care of him came to waiting to wish him luck, not to mention the other members of staff. 

If it was sad enough to say good-bye to them, when Magnus saw who was waiting, he lost control of the tears he was barely holding down. Clary was the first to hug him, already by the Institute’s main building’s door. She had another drawing to gift him, but this one was based on a picture he took with all of them during weekly patients versus staff volleyball games. 

“Thank you, Biscuit,” was all that Magnus was able to say when he put her down. 

“I’ll miss our classes.” Clary smiled through the tears.

Magnus nodded. “I’ll miss you.”

Simon was next and even though they hadn’t interacted much, Magnus felt like he knew the boy through Raphael’s eyes. Besides him, Doctor Izzy was holding back tears, but the pride in her smile spoke volumes. She made Magnus promise to take her on a shopping trip and then dispatched him with a loud kiss on his cheek. To Magnus’ surprise, Jace hugged him too and wished him the best.

And then there he was, waiting for Magnus outside the Institute’s doors.

“Can I walk you to the car?” Alec asked with half of a smile. His hazel eyes were hard to read, but there was so much emotion in them, Magnus didn’t care to decipher it all. He saw pride, relief. He saw love. That was enough for him.

Magnus nodded. “I’d love that.”

Alec smiled a little more and handed Magnus a piece of paper. “That is everyone’s number,” he explained.

Magnus folded the paper and carefully placed it into his pocket. They arrived at the car and Magnus decided to ignore that Catarina and Ragnor were probably listening to everything that was being said. “Alexander, I-”

But Alec shook his head and grabbed Magnus’ hand. “Go home. Hug the Chairman, get adjusted back into your life. I don’t want you to feel like I’m your only option. The Institute can do that, and that’s not what I want for us. I want-” Alec shook his head and stopped talking abruptly, but only for a second. “I want you to be free to choose me, if that is what you want. If this is what you feel.”

It was not always that Magnus felt blessed. That was usually when he thought of having Ragnor and Catarina in his life. It happened a few times when he realized Raphael was his friend too. And now Alec, who was not only the kindest man Magnus knew, but the most selfless one too.

“I thought you wouldn’t psychoanalyze me,” Magnus said quietly and squeezed Alec’s hand.

“I’m sorry.” Alec looked down, but this time Magnus recognized what was about Alec’s eyes he had missed. There was fear there, and hope. So much hope. “This is so hard.”

Magnus nodded and brushed a few strands of hair out of Alec’s face. “It is. But it’s fair, for both of us. Will you wait for my answer?”

“For as long as it takes.” There wasn’t a trace of doubt in Alec’s voice and that was all that Magnus needed to know they were making the right decision.

The trip back home was a quiet one. Catarina sat in the back with Magnus and let him sleep on her lap almost all the way to Brooklyn. The Chairman was there to receive Magnus when he walked into his apartment and it was then that Magnus couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. He hugged his son tight, laughing and crying and snugging him close, and to his surprise, the Chairman let him.

That night, Ragnor and Catarina stayed over for a slumber party. They watched old movies and ate Ragnor’s cooking, only to then collapse on Magnus’ giant bed together.

It took Magnus a little less than a week to put his life back in order. Most of that time was spent in reforming the room where he kept his alcohol into a studio. Magnus had acquired a taste for customizing his own clothes and he needed a proper place to do it. He also had to find the perfect gym to keep practicing what he had learned with Jace and it turned out Brooklyn wasn’t as full of options he thought it’d be. On the other hand, there was a variety of psychiatrists and psychologists to choose from. Go figure.

There was also the matter of his studies. Magnus had completely forgot how dull it could be to study law, but if he wanted to do well in the Summer course he was applying to, he had a lot of ground to cover. Plus, this time he had a goal to reach, a real one.

When Magnus woke up after a week had passed, he sighed heavily. He started his day like he did all others: with a hot cup of tea, the one his mother used to make, and checking the news on his phone.

This time, however, he did something different. Magnus scrolled down his contact list until he found the name he was looking for and opened a chat, sending just a single emoji. A red button.

Alexander didn’t take long to answer. _Magnus? I don’t get it._

_Well_ , Magnus texted back, _I was told to press the red button if I ever needed help. I just wanted to make sure you could too._

It took Alec even less time to call and Magnus couldn’t help a chuckle as he answered. “Good morning, Alexander.”

“H-hi,” Alec’s voice sounded from afar, but then the background noise stopped and Magnus was sure Alec had just locked himself in a room. “Sorry, I was at the gym. You know, I can’t really press my screen. It doesn’t work like that. But, hm, I hope it’s okay that I’ve called.”

Magnus chuckled. “More than okay, actually.”

“Great,” Alec exhaled sharply and Magnus realized he had been holding his breath. “So, how are you? How is adapting back to life going?”

“Good, I missed my apartment.” Magnus took another sip of his tea. “I did not miss cooking for myself. I might need to take a class, I grew too accustomed to having a chef prepare my every meal.”

Alec snorted and just the sound of it made Magnus’ heart skip a beat. “Maybe you can get Ragnor to teach you.”

“That’s a horrible idea. One should never put Ragnor in a position of power, it’ll go over his head.” Magnus smiled and laid his chin over his hand. “How are you doing, darling?”

“Good too.” Alec had stopped panting, but Magnus could still hear his deep breathing. “Oh, I got into that MBA I told you about.”

“That’s wonderful news! Congratulations!” Magnus cheered so much, he scared the Chairman away from where he had been sleeping. “So, how are you going to celebrate?”

Alec hummed quietly. “We went to the city, my siblings and I. And Lydia baked me a cake, saying ‘congratulations for actually qualifying for your job’. It was a big cake. But I… I was wondering…” Magnus could sense Alec building up his courage, so he waited. “I was wondering if I could see you.”

“What are you saying, Alexander?” Magnus grinned, feeling the heartbeat racing inside his chest.

“Well, I… I think I owe you a date. And… I’d like to take you on one. A real date, not for coffee in the kitchen. So, hm, would you like to go out? With me?”

Closing his eyes, Magnus inhaled deeply. He had been waiting for those words ever since he realized he’d missed Alec. Not the Head of the Institute, not the caretaker, not the salvation that Magnus had been looking for. He missed Alec, in all his shyness and assertiveness, all his kindness and stubbornness. 

Magnus had learned how to love himself and, on the way, he had found someone else to love just as much.

“I’d love that.”

“Great,” Alec breathed out. “I thought- Maybe I can teach you how to cook a few things? I’m good with steak. And then we could watch a movie?”

“Alexander, I want to kiss you,” Magnus said matter-of-factly. 

It made Alec laugh. “I want to kiss you too.”

Magnus smiled. “Good. We can think about the rest of the date later. And by later, I mean tonight. I want to see you tonight. It’s been too long.”

“Tonight, then.” Alec chuckled a little. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither,” Magnus whispered, tightening the hold on his phone a little. 

They stayed in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other over the phone, but then Alec cleared his throat. “Should I hang up? Are you busy?”

“Please don’t. I want to keep hearing the sound of your voice for a little longer.” Magnus bit his lower lip. “Unless you have to go.”

“I don’t.” There was happiness in Alec’s voice. “So, hm, any plans for the future?”

“Funny you should ask,” Magnus smirked. “You know how I’m kind of a super-hero to addicts everywhere, distributing the hard fist of the law on dangerous criminals who dare to do them harm. Sometimes literally.”

“Sure.” Alec sounded doubtful.

Magnus, naturally, ignored him. “It seems that I’ve found my true calling in doing just that. Now, I’ve been looking into possible places to offer my services to, and I found this most charming one. It’s a family initiative, if I understood correctly, three siblings that want nothing more than to help and give back. I really like the sound of that. And it seems that they could use some help in the administrative department. Maybe something from a legal point of view?”

There was dead silence coming from Alec’s side of the line until he finally seemed to understand what Magnus was saying. “You want to work at the Institute.”

“I want to give back what was given to me.” Magnus smiled to himself. “I don’t expect you to just hire me out of the blue, but I’ve enrolled in a Summer course on the legislation regarding healthcare and I’ve been doing some case studies on my own. I should be ready for the challenge in a couple of months and- Alexander, are you still there?

More silence, and then. “Screw tonight. I’m going to see you right now.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, darling.” Magnus chuckled. “You have work to do.”

“Already in the car. See you in an hour.”

Magnus laughed, but by then, Alec had hung up. He looked to the Chairman, who had found another spot in the kitchen to lay down. “I guess that means I’m hired.” Magnus stood up and picked up the cat, ignoring his meow of protest. “Come on, my dear. Your future dad is coming here. We have to get ready.”

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- 

“Magnus,” Alec’s voice sounded far away and there was an urgency to it that felt simply out of place in the tranquility of their bedroom, “wake up. Magnus, please.”

“Alexander, darling,” Magnus muttered and hugged the pillow tighter, “if you wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night, my legal advice as an expert would be doing so through a blow job. Since you haven’t take that obvious rote, whatever it is, it can wait until the morning.”

“It is the morning. I just came back from my running.” Alec sat on the bed and touched Magnus’ shoulder. “Come on, you have to see this. I promise we can stay the rest of the day in bed.”

Magnus shook his head. “You are incapable of spending the day in bed. I know, I’ve been dating you for three years.”

“And we’ve been living together for the last year.” Alec moved and for a second Magnus was sure he had given up, but then he lost his breath when Alec laid over him, dropping all his weight on Magnus. “And we’re going to get married in the Summer,” Alec whispered into Magnus’ ear, making a shiver run down his body. “During all that time, have I ever asked you to come out of bed for no reason?”

“Yes, actually.” Magnus rolled over, getting Alec on his back as he positioned himself comfortably between his legs. “There was that time you thought you could convince me to join you in your morning joggings. That was a waste of an opportunity for morning sex and you know that’s my favorite activity ever.”

Alec smiled, looking perfectly happy to be pinned against the bed like that. “Okay, you’re right. There was that time, but aside from that. Come on, I want to show you something outside.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes. He knew his fiancé well enough to know Alec would only refuse sex if he had a good reason for it. No, a great reason. Otherwise, sex it was. 

Maybe this was worth checking out. Magnus sighed. “Okay, let me put some clothes on first.”

Nodding, Alec leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. “I’ll be at the kitchen. Is there any milk left?”

“Milk?” Magnus frowned, but the moment of hesitation was all that Alec needed to revert back on top and leave Magnus with a puzzled expression, but only after stealing another kiss from him.

When Magnus joined his fiancé at the kitchen, Alec was finished preparing both his own usual coffee and Magnus’ tea. He had perfected the technique they’d learned at the Indonesian tea shop Magnus found in SoHo and it always made Magnus think of his mother. It was a good way to start every day.

“So, what do you need milk for?” Magnus asked after Alec had rushed him through the rest of their breakfast and down the hallway to the elevator. 

“You’ll see,” Alec answered and shot him a mysterious smirk as he grabbed a pan and two spoons, saying nothing more.

At least he didn’t make them take the stairs again. Even after a year living with Magnus in Brooklyn, Alec still hadn’t shaken off his habits from living in the Institute for so long. He still woke up in the mornings to run and more often than not, brought home work. 

Not that Magnus was much better. As the Institute’s lawyer, he found himself responsible for dealing with unsatisfied families and unruly patients that thought they could sue their way into recovery. He was happy to start his LL.M. on health law in the Fall, but even so Magnus was doing just fine.

It helped to be in the Institute’s environment, having access to all the support and medication he could ever need. Three years without a relapse were a hell of a victory, and Magnus credited it to a whole lot of people besides himself. 

And one of those people were gleefully guiding him out of their building to a dirty ally on the streets of Brooklyn. “Alexander, what the fuck?”

“Okay,” Alec stopped and turned to him. “Remember how the Chairman has been disappearing the last couple of days?”

“How could I not?” Magnus rolled his eyes. “I almost had a heart attack when we realized he wasn’t in the house.”

Alec chuckled. “Well, prepare your heart. I found out what was keeping him away. Or better yet, who.”

“W-who?” Magnus blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on,” Alec said simply and rushed inside the ally, leaving Magnus no choice but to follow.

Inside the ally, the noises of the streets seemed considerably lower. Magnus walked carefully not to ruin his shoes, but then he saw his future husband kneeling down on the pavement and he just knew there was no coming out of that one intact.

It was then that Magnus heard the first meows. They were such a weak thing, he first thought he had imagined them. Surely enough, though, more came and they grew louder every step Magnus took inside the ally.

Just beside Alec, Magnus saw the Chairman. And just beside the Chairman, two kittens tried to find milk in his belly. Neither of them looked like the Chairman, although it was hard to be sure of that. They were filthy little things, too scrawny and desperate. 

Magnus fell in love on the spot. 

Carefully, Alec took one of the kittens in his hand, almost completely shielding it from sight in the process. He poured the milk in the pan and used the spoon to give it to him. Magnus immediately mimicked him with the other one and they worked silently under the Chairman’s solemn gaze until the tiny little things had stopped shaking.

“We should bathe them,” Alec said quietly, after the kittens had slept, probably too exhausted now that they had their bellies full. “I think the Chairman found them and carried them here. There were no signs of the mother when I saw them earlier.”

Truth be told, they shouldn’t take the kittens home. They could be carrying out diseases that could not only infect the Chairman, they could even hurt Alec and him. Even if they were sufficiently healthy, there was no telling how long they would survive after living who know how many days on the streets. It was a risky gamble, with more chances to end up hurting all of those involved than to have a happy ending.

Not unlike it had been for Ragnor and Cat to entrust Magnus into the care of the Institute, three years ago.

“Of course, darling.” Magnus nodded at once. “I’ll call the vet while you soak some sponges for their bath. And you,” he turned to the Chairman, “there was no need to start a family of your own. I’m not replacing you with Alexander. He’s your father too.”

Unsurprisingly, the Chairman completely ignored the lecture. All he did was get up and follow Alec as he took both kittens back to the apartment. Magnus would’ve felt offended if he was a lesser man.

Bathing the babies was a hard process, mostly because they whimpered through the whole thing. It broke Magnus’ heart, but they needed to scrub the filth away with an old toothbrush and so they did. Once the kittens were dry and clean, Magnus was able to take a proper look at them. They would have to be taken to the vet ASAP, but as far as Magnus could tell, there was nothing to be alarmed about.

That is, besides the fact that they were the cutest thing in the entire universe.

The bigger one had brownish fur and the most intelligent eyes. He’d stay behind his baby brother, watching and learning to make sure he was safe. Only then, he’d slowly move ever unsure. The fur of the smaller had the most interesting shade of gray: in a certain light, it almost looked blue. He was definitely the most playful of the two, eager to explore his surroundings.

Naturally, Alec couldn’t wait to play with them, making the kittens feel comfortable. Magnus watched as his fiancé talked to the babies, giving them the Chairman’s softest toys to nibble on. Alec seemed to know exactly what to say and what to do to gain their trust and soon the kittens were too entertained to be afraid.

Magnus wondered why it felt so familiar, but it came to him quickly enough. What Alec was doing wasn’t too different from what he’s done to him. How he cared, how he offered protection and help. How he had earned Magnus’ trust not by his words, but through his deeds. Step by step, Alec and his family had helped Magnus go back from human disaster to a better version of himself.

And that was just what he was doing to those poor kittens, this kind, brave man. Magnus’ kind, brave man.

“Should we give them names?” Alec asked, bringing Magnus back to reality.

“Oh, so we’re keeping them?” Magnus asked even if he already knew the answer. It was clear by the way Alec looked at the kittens. He didn’t let his fiancé stutter his way into a response, though. “I’m kidding, darling. Of course we’re keeping them. It’s enough that you and the Chairman are always plotting against me, you two would turn your backs on me if I wanted the babies out.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “So dramatic. Don’t pretend you don’t want them too.”

To keep his reputation intact, Magnus decided to ignore him. “All right, names!” He smiled, trying to think of a good pun. “What shall we call you, little one?” Magnus stretched his hand out to pet the brown kitten.

Only to receive the single most unimpressed stare he had ever seen. “Grumpy, aren’t we?” Magnus frowned, but then he smiled smugly. “Let’s call this one Raf.”

Alec, who was the one with self-preservation instincts in their little family, gasped. “He won’t be happy about it.”

“Darling, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Magnus bashed innocent eyelashes at Alec and gestured to the smallest kitten. “How about him? Something to match his personality. Curious, brave.” They watched as the baby deliberately ignored the toy Alec was offering him to play with some other thing. “Dare I say, sassy?”

“Max,” Alec said, barely louder than a whisper.

Magnus looked at him for a second before planting a kiss on Alec’s cheek. “I like it.” He looked back to the kittens, that were slowly crawling near the Chairman and falling on him to go back to sleep. Alec was smiling at them, his face lit up by the kind of simple happiness they had made their home out of. 

“Raf and Max,” Magnus said and smiled when both kittens looked at him as if they recognized their names, “welcome to the family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you guys love a happy ending? I know I do.
> 
> There are no words in any language that can truly express how much her help meant to me, but I'll make do with English. Thank you,[Kazechama](http://kazechama.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing and helping in some many other ways. Obrigada.
> 
> I can be easily found on both [Tumblr](http://sweetillusionketz.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](http://twitter.com/Ketz_CML/).
> 
> Happy New Year, guys! Cheers :D
> 
> Ketz


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